After digging to a depth of 100 meters last year, Russian scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 1000 years, and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network one thousand years ago.
So, not to be outdone, in the weeks that followed, American scientists dug 200 meters and the headlines in the US papers read: ' US scientists have found traces of 2000 year old optical fibers, and have concluded that their ancestors already had advanced high-tech digital telephone 1000 years earlier than the Russians.'
One week later, Indian daily newspapers reported the following:
'After digging as deep as 500 meters, Indian scientists have found absolutely nothing.
They have concluded that 5000 years ago, their ancestors were already using Bluetooth and Wireless technology.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
A Blonde Goes On Who Wants To Be A Millionaire
Regis: "Barbara, you've done very well so far - $500,000 and one lifeline left -- phone a friend.
The next question will give you the top prize of One Million dollars if you get it right ... but if you get it wrong you will drop back to $32,000 -- are you ready?"
Barbara: "Sure, I'll have a go!"
Regis: "Which of the following birds does not build it's own nest?
Is it........
A-Robin
B-Sparrow
C-Cuckoo
D-Thrush
Remember Barbara its worth 1 Million dollars."
"I think I know who it..but I'm not 100%...
No, I haven't got a clue. I'd like to phone a friend Regis, just to be sure.
Regis: "Yes, who, Barbara, do you want to phone?
Barbara: "I'll phone my friend Maggie back home in Birmingham."
(ringing)
Maggie (also a blonde): "Hello..."
Regis: "Hello Maggie, its Regis here from Who Wants to be a Millionaire-I have Barbara here and she is doing really well on $500,000, but needs your help to be a Million.
The next voice you hear will be Barbara's and she'll read you the question.
There are 4 possible answers and 1 correct answer and you have 30 seconds to answer -- fire away Barbara."
Barbara: "Maggie, which of the following birds does not build it's own nest? Is it:
A-Robin
B-Sparrow
C-Cuckoo
D-Thrush"
Maggie: "Oh Gees, Barbara that's simple.....It's a Cuckoo."
Barbara: "You think?"
Maggie: "I'm sure."
Barbara: " Thanks Maggie." (hangs up)
Regis: "Well, do you want to stick on $500,000 or play on for the Million, Barbara?"
Barbara: "I want to play, I'll go with C-Cuckoo"
Regis: "Is that your final answer?"
Barbara: "It is."
Regis: "Are you confident?"
Barbara: "Yes fairly, Maggie's a sound bet."
Regis: "Barbara.....you had $500,000 and you said C-Cuckoo ...you're right! - You have just won ONE MILLION DOLLARS.
Here is your check. You have been a great contestant and a real gambler. Audience please put your hands together for Barbara."
(clapping)
That night Barbara calls round to Maggie and brings her down to a local bar for a celebration drink and, as they are sipping their Champagne, Barbara turns to Maggie and asks "Tell me Maggie, How in God's name did you know that it was the Cuckoo that does not build its own nest?
Maggie: "Listen Barbara, everybody knows that a Cuckoo lives in a clock."
The next question will give you the top prize of One Million dollars if you get it right ... but if you get it wrong you will drop back to $32,000 -- are you ready?"
Barbara: "Sure, I'll have a go!"
Regis: "Which of the following birds does not build it's own nest?
Is it........
A-Robin
B-Sparrow
C-Cuckoo
D-Thrush
Remember Barbara its worth 1 Million dollars."
"I think I know who it..but I'm not 100%...
No, I haven't got a clue. I'd like to phone a friend Regis, just to be sure.
Regis: "Yes, who, Barbara, do you want to phone?
Barbara: "I'll phone my friend Maggie back home in Birmingham."
(ringing)
Maggie (also a blonde): "Hello..."
Regis: "Hello Maggie, its Regis here from Who Wants to be a Millionaire-I have Barbara here and she is doing really well on $500,000, but needs your help to be a Million.
The next voice you hear will be Barbara's and she'll read you the question.
There are 4 possible answers and 1 correct answer and you have 30 seconds to answer -- fire away Barbara."
Barbara: "Maggie, which of the following birds does not build it's own nest? Is it:
A-Robin
B-Sparrow
C-Cuckoo
D-Thrush"
Maggie: "Oh Gees, Barbara that's simple.....It's a Cuckoo."
Barbara: "You think?"
Maggie: "I'm sure."
Barbara: " Thanks Maggie." (hangs up)
Regis: "Well, do you want to stick on $500,000 or play on for the Million, Barbara?"
Barbara: "I want to play, I'll go with C-Cuckoo"
Regis: "Is that your final answer?"
Barbara: "It is."
Regis: "Are you confident?"
Barbara: "Yes fairly, Maggie's a sound bet."
Regis: "Barbara.....you had $500,000 and you said C-Cuckoo ...you're right! - You have just won ONE MILLION DOLLARS.
Here is your check. You have been a great contestant and a real gambler. Audience please put your hands together for Barbara."
(clapping)
That night Barbara calls round to Maggie and brings her down to a local bar for a celebration drink and, as they are sipping their Champagne, Barbara turns to Maggie and asks "Tell me Maggie, How in God's name did you know that it was the Cuckoo that does not build its own nest?
Maggie: "Listen Barbara, everybody knows that a Cuckoo lives in a clock."
Who Does What?
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, 'You should do it because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.
The husband said, 'You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.'
Wife replies, 'No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.'
Husband replies, 'I can't believe that, show me.'
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says . 'HEBREWS'
The wife said, 'You should do it because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.
The husband said, 'You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.'
Wife replies, 'No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.'
Husband replies, 'I can't believe that, show me.'
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says . 'HEBREWS'
Dear?
A hunter kills a deer and brings it home.He decides to clean and serve the deer meat for supper.
He knows his kids are fussy eaters, and won't eat it if they know what it is so he doesn't tell them.His little boy, Jimmy, keeps asking him, "What's for supper dad?""You'll see" he replies.
They start eating supper and his daughter keeps asking him what they are eating."Ok", says her dad, "Here's a hint.It's what your mother sometimes calls me."His daughter screams..."Don't eat it Jimmy! It's an asshole! "
He knows his kids are fussy eaters, and won't eat it if they know what it is so he doesn't tell them.His little boy, Jimmy, keeps asking him, "What's for supper dad?""You'll see" he replies.
They start eating supper and his daughter keeps asking him what they are eating."Ok", says her dad, "Here's a hint.It's what your mother sometimes calls me."His daughter screams..."Don't eat it Jimmy! It's an asshole! "
Who is More Silly - Superman or Batman?
* * * What's your guess ? * * *
A : Its SUPERMAN!
Why? because both superman and batman wear their underwear on the outside, but Batman is smart enough to wear a mask!
A : Its SUPERMAN!
Why? because both superman and batman wear their underwear on the outside, but Batman is smart enough to wear a mask!
Detective Training
A policeman was testing 3 brothers who were training to become detectives.
To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first brother a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it.
"This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?
"The first brother answers, "That'seasy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!" The policeman says, "Well...uh... that's because the picture I showed is his side profile."Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second brother and asks him, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?
"The second brother smiles and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!" The policeman angrily responds,"What's the matter with you two? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it's a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?
"Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third brother and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?He quickly adds, "Think hard before giving me a stupid answer."
The brother looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "The suspect wears contact lenses." The policeman is surprised and speechless because hereallydoesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not.
"Well, that's an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that." He leaves the room and goes to his office,checks the suspect's file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.
"Wow! I can't believe it. It's TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?""That's easy," the third brother replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."
To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first brother a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it.
"This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?
"The first brother answers, "That'seasy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!" The policeman says, "Well...uh... that's because the picture I showed is his side profile."Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second brother and asks him, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?
"The second brother smiles and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!" The policeman angrily responds,"What's the matter with you two? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it's a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?
"Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third brother and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?He quickly adds, "Think hard before giving me a stupid answer."
The brother looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "The suspect wears contact lenses." The policeman is surprised and speechless because hereallydoesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not.
"Well, that's an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that." He leaves the room and goes to his office,checks the suspect's file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.
"Wow! I can't believe it. It's TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?""That's easy," the third brother replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)