1. What is Love?
Psychiatrist Harry Stack Sullivan says: "When the satisfaction, happiness, and security of another are as real to you as your own, you truly love that person." This desire to see you satisfied, happy, and secure is more than a feeling. It is more permanent than an emotion. It is an act of my mind and my will. It is my decision (I am going to love you) and my commitment (I will say, do, and be whatever you need for your satisfaction, happiness, and security). In other words, I decide that I am going to love you as I love myself. And I am committed to provide as best I can whatever promotes your true happiness.
Therefore, my motive of love, according to John Powell, should clearly exclude:
· Hurting or punishing you.
· Retaliating for something you have done.
. Putting you down, back into your place.·
. Getting you off my back by closing you out.
· Keeping you at a distance.
· Manipulating you to feel or act in a way that would please me.
· Ventilating, dumping my "emotional garbage" on you.
· Refusing to listen to you.
· Building walls between us.
· Ridiculing, chastising, judging, or competing in order to surpass you. (“Will the Real Me Please Stand Up?” 204)
2. What are the Acid Tests of True Love?
I suggest that there are two acid tests for love: They are:
i) Self-forgetfulness
ii) Good temper.
i) Self-forgetfulness
For love to be true, I must really forget myself. Can I truly focus my mind on your happiness and your fulfillment? Can I deny myself? Can I make sacrifices of my needs for you?
We are all selfish by nature. We normally look after ourselves first, last and always.
Our Selfish Nature consists of:
· Self-centredness---looking at self, watching self, examining self and always regarding self.
· Self-conceit---how ready we are to defend self and to condemn the same things in others!
· Self-indulgence---we are very indulgent with self; we prohibit things in the other person but it does not matter if we do the same thing ourselves.
· Self-pleasing---always doing things that please us.
· Self-seeking---always looking out for self interest.
· Self-pity---why should people treat us like this?---we have done no harm; we are not in the wrong at all---why should people be so difficult?---we are given a hard time and it really isn’t fair.
· Self-sensitiveness---how touchy we are, how easily wounded, imagining difficulties and attacks, seeing them when they are not there, an abominable sensitivity.
· Self-defence---always on the defensive, waiting for people to be unpleasant, and because we are like that, we almost make them unpleasant---we are on the defensive.
· Self-assertion---asserting self; we desire things, and we must have them.
· Self-sufficiency---we want to be in a position to say that ‘I am a self-made man who worships his creator (himself).’
Thus for my love to be true, I must not live only for myself. I must not think only of myself.
I must not have the attitude---none but myself. I must consciously decide and commit myself to do all for your happiness and security.
ii) Good Temper
We are inclined to look upon hot temper as a very harmless weakness. We often speak of it as a mere infirmity of nature, a family failing or a matter of temperament. We don’t take bad temper very seriously when we assess a man's character.
But, frequent quick temper is a revelation: a symptom of an unloving heart at the bottom. It is the constant feverish outburst which speaks of the real disease within. It is the intermittent bubble that escapes to the surface and this betrays that there is some rottenness underneath. For a want of patience, a want of kindness, a want of generosity, a want of courtesy, a want of unselfishness, are all instantaneously symbolized in one flash of temper.
No form of vice, not worldliness, not greed of gold, not drunkenness itself, does more to harm to the family than evil temper. For embittering life, for destroying the most sacred relationships, for devastating homes, for withering up men and women, for taking the bloom off childhood, for breaking up communities: in short, for sheer misery-producing power, this temper influence stands alone.
What is bad temper made of?
The ingredients of all ill temper are partly jealousy, anger, pride, un-charity, cruelty, self-righteousness, touchiness, doggedness and sullenness.
And temper can be obvious or it can be subtle. Temper manifests itself in some of the following ways:
a) Explosion----we rage, we use anger to lash out at others and intimidate them, we are easily ruffled.
b) Implosion----we give the silent treatment, we sulk, we are moody, we are sullen, we turn it inward and beat ourselves up.
c) Irritation---we have little tolerance, we are out of control, we are cold, we are touchy.
d) Repetition---we nag constantly, we are stuck in the same angry groove.
It is best to avoid all forms of anger because if we give anger an inch, it will take a mile. So don’t let anger get a foothold in our hearts. For once anger gets into our hearts, it is hard to uproot. And if we let the sun go down on our anger, our hearts will harden into resentment and bitterness.
3. What are the Ingredients of Love?
When we pass light through a prism, we get the colors of the rainbow: red, and blue, and yellow, and violet, and orange, etc. Similarly when we pass love through the spiritual prism, we get the ingredients of love.
The ingredients of love, as in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, are:
. Patience (Listen more) -- Love suffers long
· Kindness (Goodness) -- Love is kind
· Generosity (Sacrifices) -- Love does not envy
· Humility (Less ego) -- Love does not parade itself and is not puffed up· Courtesy (Polite) -- Love does not behave rudely
· Selflessness (Thoughtful) -- Love does not seek its own
· Good temper (Gentle) -- Love is not provoked
· Guilelessness (Forgiving) -- Love thinks no evil
· Sincerity (Honesty) -- Love does not rejoice in iniquity but rejoices in the truth
· Forbearance (Accepting) -- Love bears all things
· Faithfulness (Committed) -- Love believes all things
· Hopefulness (Confidence) -- Love hopes all things
· Endurance (Perseveres) -- Love endures all things
. Patience; kindness; generosity; humility; courtesy; selflessness; good temper; guilelessness; sincerity; forbearance; faithfulness; hopefulness; and endurance---all these make up the stature of the perfect man.
4. What is the Fruit of Love?
The result of our love is manifested in our fruit. And according to Galatians 5:22-23, the fruit of love is:
· Joy ---a cheerful heart, a heart burning with love.
· Peace ---a heart that is at ease and at rest.
· Patience ---able to accept, endure, tolerate and suffer the tantrums, slights, blame, accusation, injuries and hurts, without retaliation.
· Kindness ---being generous, compassionate, and friendly.
· Goodness ---thoughtful and sensitive spirit.
· Faithfulness---keep to his promises and commitment.
· Gentleness ---kindly and tender in words and deeds.
· Self-control---great control over his thought and feeling
. And Mother Teresa also says:
“The fruit of Love is Service and The fruit of Service is Peace”
Every one of us is looking for such fruit. All of us, without exception, greatly desire such fruit---joy, peace, patience, kindness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. People will know us for what we truly are, for “By their fruits you shall know them.”
5. Learning How to Love Better
What, then, is preventing us from loving better in order to obtain such fruit? Why don’t we love more? The problem is our human nature. Our w ill-power will not change us. Time will not change us. But Christians believe that Christ does change us.
Our characters are made more loving not by taking the bitter fluid out, but by putting something in---a great Love, the Spirit of Christ. This Spirit of Christ, who is love, will penetrate into us, sweeten, purify and transform us. Only this can eradicate what is wrong and work a radical change. It will renovate, regenerate and rehabilitate our inner nature.
So, abide in Christ, stay in His presence constantly, and soak in His love, His grace and His mercy. As Henry Drummond in 1884 said, “Contemplate the love of Christ, and you will love. Stand before that mirror, reflect Christ's character, and you will be changed into the same image from tenderness to tenderness. There is no other way.
You cannot love to order. You can only look at the lovely object, and fall in love with it, and grow into likeness to it. And so look at this Perfect Character, this Perfect Life. Look at the great Sacrifice as He laid down Himself, all through life, and upon the Cross of Calvary; and you must love Him. And loving Him, you must become like Him.
Love begets love. It is a process of induction. Put a piece of iron in the presence of a magnetised body, and that piece of iron for a time becomes magnetised. It is charged with an attractive force in the mere presence of the original force, and as long as you leave the two side by side, they are both magnets alike.
Remain side by side with Him who loved us, and gave Himself for us, and you too will become a centre of power, a permanently attractive force; and like Him you will draw all men unto you, like Him you will be drawn unto all men. That is the inevitable effect of Love.
Any man who fulfils that cause must have that effect produced in him.” (“The Greatest Thing in the World.”) Finally, “Eternal life also is to know God, and God is love. This is Christ's own definition. Ponder it. "This is life eternal, that they might know Thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom Thou hast sent." Love must be eternal. It is what God is. On the last analysis, then, love is life. Love never faileth, and life never faileth, so long as there is love.
That is the philosophy of what Paul is showing us; the reason why in the nature of things. Love should be the supreme thing---because it is going to last; because in the nature of things it is an Eternal Life.
That Life is a thing that we are living now, not that we get when we die; that we shall have a poor chance of getting when we die unless we are living now. No worse fate can befall a man in this world than to live and grow old alone, unloving, and unloved.
To be lost is to live in an unregenerate condition, loveless and unloved; and to be saved is to love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth already in God. For God is love.” (Henry Drummond, “The Greatest Thing in the World.”)
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Angels along my Path: the Love that Heals
All the passages below are taken from Pablo Martinez’s book “A Thorn in the Flesh,” published in 2007.
Love is the principal, the paramount, the preeminent, the distinguishing characteristic of the people of God. Nothing can dislodge or replace it. Love is supreme.1
What role does love play in the struggle against the thorn? Up to this point we have considered some of the therapeutic effects of grace. Maybe you are wondering why I have not yet mentioned love. Love is the highest expression of grace. That is why it needs a chapter all of its own. Grace is love in action and love originates in and feeds on grace. The supreme example of this inseparable relationship between grace and love is found in the person of Jesus Christ: he is the paradigm of grace incarnated in love. Beautiful Bible verses remind us of this reality: `For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son...' (John 3:16 NIV), or `He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all---how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?' (Romans 8:32).Let us respond to two practical questions: who are the transmitters of this love and how does it show itself in its relationship to the thorn?
In fact, these four needs converge in a single one that can be defined in negative terms: not feeling alone. Loneliness is always hard to accept because people are not born for isolation but for relationship. However, loneliness is particularly painful at the time of the thorn. We should do our absolute best to make sure that the person suffering from the thorn---and his or her closest caregivers---should not feel like the Psalmist, who wrote, `My heart is blighted and withered like grass ... I am like a desert owl, like an owl among the ruins. I lie awake; I have become like a bird alone on a housetop' (Psalm 102:4, 6-7 NIV). This leads us to consider another great resource of grace, the church.
Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfil the law of Christ (Galatians 6:2 NIV).
Stir up one another to love (Hebrews 10: 24, ESV).
Love is the principal, the paramount, the preeminent, the distinguishing characteristic of the people of God. Nothing can dislodge or replace it. Love is supreme.1
What role does love play in the struggle against the thorn? Up to this point we have considered some of the therapeutic effects of grace. Maybe you are wondering why I have not yet mentioned love. Love is the highest expression of grace. That is why it needs a chapter all of its own. Grace is love in action and love originates in and feeds on grace. The supreme example of this inseparable relationship between grace and love is found in the person of Jesus Christ: he is the paradigm of grace incarnated in love. Beautiful Bible verses remind us of this reality: `For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son...' (John 3:16 NIV), or `He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all---how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?' (Romans 8:32).Let us respond to two practical questions: who are the transmitters of this love and how does it show itself in its relationship to the thorn?
Who? The transmitters of grace
For a life in the dark, love is the surest guide.2
God uses key people, deeply meaningful in our lives, to help us fight against the thorn. They are specific people, with real names, who are like angels along our desert paths bringing us, above all, love. They are the transmitters of God's grace, because grace is not only something experienced, but also something shared. Grace is received, but it also needs to be transmitted. God never intended grace to be an individual experience, no matter how edifying it might be. We considered earlier how Jonathan was used by God to help David. Paul also had his `angels' who helped him in his most difficult moments. It is exciting to see how the apostle refers to Epaphroditus as `my brother, fellow-worker and fellow-soldier, who is also your messenger, whom you sent to take care of my needs' (Philippians 2:25 NIV) and who `almost died for the work of Christ, risking his life to make up for the help you could not give me' (v. 30).
In our situation, where are we going to find these servant transmitters of God's grace and love? Of course, God can use the person we least expect. Life is full of examples of anonymous men and women whose generosity, compassion and altruism are reminders of the divine image that every human being retains as an indelible imprint on their hearts. Nonetheless, there are certain spheres in which we are more likely to find these `angel' transmitters of grace and love. We will consider two of them: on the one hand, family and friends, and, on the other hand, the church---what we call the `supernatural help' because it contains ingredients that go beyond mere natural support.
Family and friends: the natural helpOur main support should obviously come from those who are closest to us---family and friends.
Their love, commitment and empathy are irreplaceable. In fact, the thorn very often affects the entire family, parents, siblings and children, who suffer as much as the person directly affected, especially when the thorn touches a child, for example with a disability or a chronic illness. Although the parents and siblings do not literally suffer from the problem, in practice they do experience it as if it were their own. This is the high cost that comes with an identification that is as natural as it is necessary. Family life is like a delicate system of communicating vessels in which everything affects everyone. In fact, the emotional wear and tear that these situations create for caregivers---particularly the closest family members---makes it highly advisable that they also receive help. The classic question `Who cares for the carer?' takes on a particular relevance here. Much of this book's content is applicable as much to close relatives as it is to the person living with the thorn. Every day the family needs to experience the refreshing and renewing breeze of grace that in turn enables each member to continue giving that same grace to their suffering relative.
The lack of such support from closest family members is a major handicap in the acceptance process. Besides, it can cause fractures in communication with family members or among friends. This happened, for example, with Job: what his broken heart needed most was the support of his wife and friends, but he was soon to discover that those who should have been a balm for his wounds became in fact like vinegar. Instead of bringing hope, they brought irritation and disconsolation. Truly there is nothing better than a period of pain to test the levels of love and friendship. `A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity', we are reminded in the wisdom of Proverbs (Proverbs 17:17 NIV).
Suffering often provides good opportunities for strengthening relationships, but it is also a time of danger. When the storm rages, the bond of love can be reinforced, but dangerous leaks can also appear, letting the water in. Numerous studies have shown that the unexpected appearance of a thorn can detonate a crisis in a marriage. We must keep up our guard and think not only about the needs of the affected person but also of those of their spouse, children, and so on. I remember a woman who, weeping, told me, `When our son was born ---with cerebral palsy---somehow I lost my husband. It was like a wall that rose up between us. It wasn't that he shied away from caring for the boy---he did take care of him and did everything that would be normal in the situation. But he didn't have anything to do with me: he abandoned me emotionally.
When I needed him the most, he inexplicably distanced himself. My loneliness became unbearable.'This woman's sad experience can help us outline some of the basic needs of the person dealing with a thorn,3 without forgetting that their family members have needs too.
• Companionship: emotional support
• Empathy: feeling understood
• Practical support: help in facing the new challenges that appear with the thorn. This is especially true in the adaptation phase, when one must learn to live differently
• Hope: the sense that life will regain its meaning and there is a future.
• Companionship: emotional support
• Empathy: feeling understood
• Practical support: help in facing the new challenges that appear with the thorn. This is especially true in the adaptation phase, when one must learn to live differently
• Hope: the sense that life will regain its meaning and there is a future.
In fact, these four needs converge in a single one that can be defined in negative terms: not feeling alone. Loneliness is always hard to accept because people are not born for isolation but for relationship. However, loneliness is particularly painful at the time of the thorn. We should do our absolute best to make sure that the person suffering from the thorn---and his or her closest caregivers---should not feel like the Psalmist, who wrote, `My heart is blighted and withered like grass ... I am like a desert owl, like an owl among the ruins. I lie awake; I have become like a bird alone on a housetop' (Psalm 102:4, 6-7 NIV). This leads us to consider another great resource of grace, the church.
Church, the supernatural support
For believers there is also another family, a family of families, which is a unique setting for experiencing love and grace: the church. How can the local church help the person suffering from a thorn, and also help their family? Above all, by offering them grace. Grace is the most distinctive contribution the church can make to those stricken by a thorn. Grace strengthens, encourages, comforts. In his excellent book What's So Amazing About Grace?, Philip Yancey quotes Gordon MacDonald: `The world can do almost anything as well as or better than the church ... There is only one thing the world cannot do. It cannot offer grace.4
Biblical teaching is emphatic about the idea that we are a body and belong to one another: `Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it ... its parts should have equal concern for each other ... If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honoured, every part rejoices with it' (1 Corinthians 12:25-27 NIV).
The Christian life is not a matter of `God and me alone'. A solitary Christian is incompatible with New Testament teaching. Faith does of course have an intimate and personal dimension that must be respected, but it goes far beyond the private realm, with inevitable community and social implications.
John Wesley often reminded his listeners of a friend's words: `The Bible knows nothing of solitary religion.5 Whether we like it or not, when we experience the new birth---conversion---we come to form part of a family in which, just as in any other family, we do not have the right to choose our siblings. (I have never yet met anyone who has had the opportunity to choose his or her blood siblings!)
Thus being a support community is in the very nature of the church. Its natural solidarity---`for we are all members of one body' (Ephesians 4:25 NIV)---is strengthened by the supernatural love of grace: `because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us' (Romans 5:5 NIV).
The love of Christ is the motivation that `compels us' (2 Corinthians 5:14 NIV). Indeed, it impels us to love those suffering from a thorn and their families. The church becomes a support community. This was such a natural characteristic of the church in the early centuries that the first hospitals were founded by Christians. As a matter of fact the concept of hospital is inseparably joined to Christianity.
Concern for the sick was something so natural and accepted among Christians in the Middle Ages that a hospital was always built next to every monastery, as can be seen even today. Of course these hospitals were very different from hospitals today; they were used primarily for sufferers from leprosy, the blind, the infirm and the marginalized---in other words, men and women fighting against gruelling thorns.Today, even non-believing professionals have admitted the relevant role that Christian communities can play in helping suffering people.
This is one of the merits that the church can offer our society today. In a world where the family is in crisis and no longer constitutes a safe refuge, the local church is an alternative family. A church where members bear one another's burdens becomes a home, a family of families through which God `provides homes for those who are deserted' (Psalm 68:6, HCSB).The church can be a healing community, a therapeutic instrument for a hurting world. Many people today who are discouraged owing to distress, depression or loneliness, hurt by broken relationships or dire family situations, wander through life as `injured' and `weak' (Ezekiel 34:16).
It is these people who, exhausted by thorns, will make their way to a church in search of someone who will share their burdens. We must be on the lookout for them, willing to carry their `knapsack' for a while, i.e. listen to them, understand them and, above all, love them with the love of Christ who showed a deep interest in all who were `in need of a doctor'. Grace, expressed in love, should be the distinctive mark of a church that is alive.
How? Healing through love
We have considered the who, the transmitters of grace and love. Now we must focus on the how. How do we go about giving the support, the empathy, the practical help and the hope that are so vital? We could make a list of useful and commonsense suggestions. But this kind of information can easily be found in any counselling or self-help book. Because my desire throughout this book is to let the Word of God speak as much as possible, I prefer to focus on two exhortations from the apostolic teaching which are a mine of rich material on the practice of Christian love:
Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfil the law of Christ (Galatians 6:2 NIV).
Stir up one another to love (Hebrews 10: 24, ESV).
`Carry each other's burdens'In this verse we find not only valuable psychological wisdom but also one of the most healing effects of grace. Grace is the supernatural strength that enables us to carry each other's burdens, and, even though Paul's exhortation is directed at the church, it also applies to individuals, including the family and close friends of the suffering person.
Let us notice, first of all, that this verse is a command, not an option. The verb `carry' is an imperative. If we belong to one another, the natural consequence is to `carry each other's burdens'. Caring for our brothers and sisters is not only a privilege to enjoy, but a duty to accomplish. Young's Literal Translation (1898) accurately conveys the emphasis: `of one another the burdens bear ye.' Paul places `of one another' in the genitive at the beginning of the sentence to indicate its emphasis.
So how do we practise this exhortation? The word `carry' or `bear' is the same as in John 19:17, when Jesus carried his own cross and started making his way to Golgotha . The idea conveyed in the original is that of carrying `something that weighs heavily'. The same word for `burden', baros, is used in Matthew 20:12, referring to the work and tiring nature of the day: `And you have made them equal to us who have borne the burden of the work and the heat of the day.' So it can mean both a physical and a symbolic or moral weight---something that is burdensome and oppressive, such as a worry, a problem, a hardship or an illness.
I would like to illustrate this idea: all of us are travelling through life carrying knapsacks of different weights. The idea of `carrying one another's burdens' refers to taking your neighbour's knapsack and carrying it for a while. That is exactly what Simon did when the Roman soldiers made him carry Jesus' cross because Jesus was more than likely completely exhausted: `They seized Simon from Cyrene, who was on his way in from the country, and put the cross on him and made him carry it behind Jesus' (Luke 23:26 NIV). What a privilege for Simon to share Jesus' burden! Likewise, the word used in Isaiah 53:4---`Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows'---is the same one as in Galatians 6:2---`carry each other's burdens'. In the very act of carrying---and dying on---that cross, Jesus was bearing all our sins.
Obviously there is one sense in which we cannot carry the burdens of our neighbour as Jesus did: the substitutionary, vicarious element of the Lord's death that cannot be repeated. But, in a broader sense, we can and we ought to imitate Christ. The very life of Jesus impels us to do the same. In fact, the word `law', which appears in the second part of the verse `in this way you will fulfil the law of Christ', does not mean precept so much as model. It refers to the spirit, character and demeanour of Christ, who, `anointed ... with the Holy Spirit and power ... went around doing good and healing all...' (Acts 10:38 NIV). Every believer should desire to have this pastoral heart that causes us to approach a brother or sister and ask, `What's the matter? Can I do something for you? Can I carry your knapsack for a while?'
`Stirring up one another to love'
This second exhortation is placed in a context that accurately describes more practical ways of sharing the other person's burden: `And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another' (Hebrews 10:24-25 NIV). Notice the emphasis again on the Christian life as an experience to be lived as a body: `not neglecting to meet together'. Individual efforts are important, but they are not enough if love and good works are to be promoted.Let us focus on the first sentence `... how to stir up one another to love'. The word for `stirring up', paroxysmos, is a significant term meaning `to incite'. As Donald Guthrie puts it, `it seems to suggest that loving one another will not just happen. It needs to be worked out, even provoked'.6
If we compare love to a fire, both starting and maintaining a fire require effort and a watchful attitude. The idea is to be proactive in showing concern for and promoting the good of my neighbour. It simply means taking the other person into account, not ignoring him or her. Sometimes a sincere and heartfelt `How are you?' suffices to show our love. At other times, words may be unnecessary and the same attitude of love is communicated through a penetrating and comforting gaze that speaks for itself, silently saying, `Can I be of any help to you? I'm by your side if you need me.' A handwritten note or postcard at special moments, a phone call or a visit to their home are other practical ways of considering one another that communicate valuable support to the person suffering with a thorn.
Also, we should not forget that one of the most effective ways of carrying the burdens is by listening to the other person. Listening carefully, not only with our ears but with our eyes, conveys a powerful message of love. Remember the story of Job's `comforters': talking too much was the main source of the mistakes they made. This is why God rebuked them at the end: `I am angry with you and your two friends, because you have not spoken ... what is right. ..'(Job 42:7 NIV). If they had remained silent, as they did for the first few days (see 2:13 ), and just listened to job's laments, their comfort to the tormented job would have been much more effective. In suffering, love is expressed much better by the warmth of a caring hand than by the eloquence of a long discourse.
Finally, this exhortation clearly refers to the reciprocal dimension of love. It is striking to see how in the New Testament there are more than fifty commandments that include the phrase `one another': love one another, comfort one another, encourage one another, serve one another, bear with one another, forgive one another ... as reciprocal commandments. There is no place for a passive attitude within the church. It is always a matter of giving and receiving. All these attitudes---works of love---are a practical expression of the grace of Christ. People suffering with a thorn need to experience this grace, made visible in their spiritual family. Love is like a fire with limitless energy. Undoubtedly it is the key ingredient in grace to transform people, relationships and situations. Hence its sterling value for helping the person dealing with a thorn.
Prayers that support: the therapeutic value of my brothers' and sisters' prayers
... we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength ... you also joined in helping us through your prayers (2 Corinthians 1:8, 11, ESV/NASB).
... we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength ... you also joined in helping us through your prayers (2 Corinthians 1:8, 11, ESV/NASB).
One of the most powerful ways we can show our support is through prayer. To pray for and with the person or family that suffers from a thorn has a soothing effect and constitutes an unfailing source of comfort. When someone prays for me, I feel accompanied, understood and supported. This is especially true in the initial stages of the thorn, when it seems that the world is crashing in on us. But also later on, when we have genuinely come to accept the problem, intercession by our Christian family continues to be important for experiencing renewed forces of grace.
Paul referred to this idea in an emotive passage:
We know that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in our comfort. For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death (2 Corinthians I:7-9, ESV).
And the apostle continues, sharing what their prayers had meant to him in such dire straits: `He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, as you help us by your prayers' (vv. 10-11). The force of this passage is surprising, for Paul is in effect saying, `When you pray for me in my tribulation, you are fighting alongside me, helping me.
'And it is not merely of psychological benefit that `someone has remembered me'. Prayer does not operate as a placebo or a self-suggestion technique but by its enormous spiritual power. Prayer can change circumstances, but it also changes people, a phenomenon that medicine has studied in depth over recent years, with surprising results. Several independent research projects have shown how those patients who prayed or knew that others were praying for them (for example, after having an operation or going through cancer treatment) had a faster and better recovery rate than other patients who did not have prayer backing. Exactly the same thing occurs when suffering from a thorn.The source of grace: `I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me'
Remain in me, and I will remain in you ... apart from me you can do nothing (John 15:4-5 NIV).
So far we have seen some of the transmitters of grace: the family, the church, friends: instruments in God's hands to dispense grace. In the words of the apostle Peter, they are `good stewards of God's varied grace' (1 Peter 4:10, ESV).
Remain in me, and I will remain in you ... apart from me you can do nothing (John 15:4-5 NIV).
So far we have seen some of the transmitters of grace: the family, the church, friends: instruments in God's hands to dispense grace. In the words of the apostle Peter, they are `good stewards of God's varied grace' (1 Peter 4:10, ESV).
The spring from which this divine gift flows is Christ himself, which is why grace is inseparable from a personal relationship with Christ. We receive this grace when we are in intimate communion with Christ, just as a plant receives its vital life sap from the main trunk. There are no shortcuts or substitutes. Herein lies the essence of acceptance: it is a supernatural spiritual experience. If I want to experience God's grace, I have to cultivate my relationship with Christ.
Let us now return to 2 Corinthians 12, the text dealing with the thorn. Between verses 8 and 10, where Paul's transformation takes place, there is a phrase worth noting. Seemingly insignificant, it contains nothing less than the secret par excellence of this profound change: `. .. but he [the Lord] said to me' (v. 9). It is not by his own efforts or through a personal process of psychological maturity that Paul comes to have an attitude of joyful acceptance, but in response to the encounter he has had with his Lord in prayer.
Paul has known God's answer in the Hebrew sense, that is, he has experientially known what God has told him. This is not mere informational knowledge. It reminds us again of the Old Testament prophet Habakkuk, a man who also fought intensely with God in prayer. After hearing God's answer, and as an introduction to a memorable prayer, Habakkuk affirms: `O LORD, I have heard your speech and was afraid' (Habakkuk 3:2, NKJV). From the content of this prayer we see how God's answer had changed the prophet's attitudes, thoughts and feelings. The apostle's experience with regard to the thorn is the same.
The explanation of this spiritual reality is seen in Philippians 4:11-13, the text that was the basis for our discussion of contentment: `I have learned to be content ... I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me...'. Verses 11 and 13 are inseparable. There is no true contentment without Christ. This is the key to accepting the thorn and also to the entire Christian life. Famous people can encourage me by their example, inspiring me.
The power of Christ goes much further than being an inspiration; he performs a transformation which energizes me on the inside, enabling me to face any situation. Christ is able to strengthen me because he is truly alive today and his power is delivered to me as the vine gives sap to the branches.In the original, the preposition Paul uses is in: `I can do all things IN Christ'. It does not say `with' or `by' Christ. It is an existential position. It is not a sporadic experience, intense as this might be, but a permanent relationship.
It is not an occasional encounter, like that of a patient with a psychologist or counsellor that enables the patient to leave after the therapy session `feeling encouraged and uplifted'. Contentment is possible only when we are in Christ because the sap will flow through the branch only if it is connected to the vine.
How does Christ strengthen me?
In the light of biblical teaching, Christ meets the three main needs of the person suffering from a thorn, which we described earlier.•
Christ is beside me: his companionship. The last words spoken by Jesus before returning to heaven were: `Surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age' (Matthew 28:20 NIV). The author of the epistle to the Hebrews likewise quotes God's promise to Joshua, applying it to every believer: `Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you' (Hebrews 13:5), the consequence of which is very encouraging: `So we say with confidence, "The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?"' (v. 6). His companionship, his presence, is the source of encouragement and strengthening.
This was the experience of Henrietta, a woman who had spent fifteen years in a wheelchair after an accident had left her quadriplegic. She could not move her arms or legs at all. Her grandchildren, impressed by her immobility, wondered what she thought about all day long because she was always calm and peaceful.
She shared her secret in a nutshell: `If I didn't have my Lord Jesus at my side, I'd ask that my days be shortened!'The comfort of Christ's presence is expressed in the matchless lyrics of a hymn that, some time ago, was chosen in a survey as one of the ten most-loved hymns by Christians in the United States: Abide with me, fast falls the eventide.The darkness deepens; Lord, with me abide.
When other helpers fail and comforts flee, Help of the helpless, 0 abide with me.I need Thy presence every passing hour;What but Thy grace can foil the tempter's power? Who like Thyself my guide and stay can be? Through cloud and sunshine 0 abide with me.• Christ suffers with me: his empathy. Another great need of the person suffering from a thorn is to feel understood. And who can better understand than the person who has previously gone through a similar experience?
God's participation in and identification with human suffering is unfathomable but at the same time it is what offers the greatest comfort to the suffering person. In the moving description of the sufferings of Christ in Isaiah 53 lies the ultimate answer to all suffering: `he was despised ... he was pierced ... he was crushed ... he was oppressed and afflicted, yet he did not open his mouth; he was led like a lamb to the slaughter.
' So much suffering had a purpose: `by his wounds we are healed ... after the suffering of his soul, he will see the light of life and be satisfied ... for he bore the sin of many, and made intercession for the transgressors.'For all these reasons, because he was an expert7 in suffering, we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathise with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are---yet was without sin' (Hebrews 4:15 NIV).
Here also the author concludes in a passionate exhortation: `Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need' (v. 16). I quote this again deliberately because it describes amazingly the close association between our relationship with Christ---`let us then approach'---and the grace dispensed by the `time of need', that is to say, the necessary help, which I need at that very moment. Christ gives me not only his companionship but also his full understanding in view of my trial.
He understands me because he has already experienced the pain and anguish of the thorn.• Christ intercedes for me: his prayers. Intercession for each one of us is another activity that Christ is engaged in right now, while seated at the right hand of the Father. We read in Romans 8:34, `Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died---more than that, who was raised to life---is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us.' And in Hebrews 7:25 the Lord is presented as one who `always lives to intercede for [us]'.
As we saw earlier, the prayers of our church family do us a lot of good because they communicate support to us, which is another great need of the afflicted person. Prayer also covers the other two needs, companionship and empathy. It makes us feel at the same time supported and understood as we live with our thorn. If all this is true with regard to the prayers of our Christian siblings, how much more must Jesus' intercession on our behalf comfort us? For me this was one of the most revolutionary discoveries in my struggle with a thorn: to know and feel that every day Christ is interceding for me personally. This is the best antidote to discouragement in the daily struggle with my thorn.
Growing in grace
If you know there is a medicine that heals, you will do everything possible to take it. So, as our final consideration, how do we receive this transforming grace?Grace is not something that is obtained once and for all. It is not like a fixed capital that does not vary. This is why the Bible uses one verb to describe grace as something dynamic and constantly renewed: `to grow'. Of the Lord Jesus it is said, for example, that he grew `in grace with God and men' (Luke 2:52, literal translation by the author from the original Greek).
Peter exhorts us to `grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ' (2 Peter 3:18). Similarly, Paul exhorts Timothy, `You then, my son, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus' (2 Timothy 2:1).Even though we may have reached an excellent level of acceptance, comparable to that of the apostle Paul who rejoiced in his weakness, our need of grace does not disappear but rather is constant. This is logical. We are talking about situations of prolonged suffering in which the thorn is not removed.
Many things have changed, though God's answer has not been to remove the thorn but to give us the resources necessary to cope with it. As a result, just as a person with a chronic illness needs permanent treatment, we have to continue to take the divine medicine that invigorates us: `my grace is sufficient for you.' Thus, the spiritual experience of grace is not like an antibiotic that one takes for several days and that's it. No. Grace is rather like the eye drops that the patient needs to apply daily to his sore eyes. Discipline, perseverance and effort are required.
We depend on grace to be well. It is indeed a marvellous dependence!On the other hand, the idea of growth is a reminder that the forms of experiencing grace can be diverse. There will be special moments of intense fellowship with the Lord, moments that will leave an unforgettable memory. Such was Jacob's experience at Peniel. Every believer has some of these stellar moments that serve as milestones in his or her relationship with God.
However, generally speaking, growth develops in a continual and gradual way, similar to the way a child develops physically and psychologically. Grace is like the sediment that a river deposits on its bed almost imperceptibly. With time, however, the sediment becomes quite noticeable. This is what mostly happens in our spiritual growth.There is one final issue. The growth process in grace, and in the acceptance of the thorn, is not immune from oscillation or from apparent setbacks.
It is never a straight, upward line, free from doubts and relapses into rebellion and protest. There are moments of defeat in which a person feels they have lost everything they have gained. These are moments when, for some reason, it seems that we are fighting in vain. We row with all our strength but the wind blows strongly against us and the waves prevent us from advancing. We ask ourselves whether indeed we have advanced at all.A diagram can help us understand this concept better. Figure 1 shows what we might call 'never-failing' growth, without relapse, always in a straight, upward line. This kind of growth is unreal and reflects a non-biblical triumphalism. The struggle against the thorn does not operate this way.
Finding grace in your own life
If the source of grace is in Christ, how can we cultivate the personal relationship considered above? What enables us to stay in him? A detailed treatment of this is beyond the scope of this book,8 so I will simply outline the answer:Reading and meditating on the Word of GodThe study of God's Word enables us not only to know the truth but also to meet the True One, the One who said, `I am the way, the truth and the life.' Seek to imitate the Christians of Berea, who `received the message with great eagerness and examined the Scriptures every day' (Acts 17:11) and you will have an encounter with the living Christ.
The Scriptures are filled with Christ: `And beginning with Moses and all the Prophets, he explained to them what was said in all the Scriptures concerning himself' (Luke 24:27).
· Allow the Word to speak to you personally
· Allow the Word to penetrate in your heart, that it may `dwell in you richly'· Allow the Word to change and fashion you.For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart (Hebrews 4:12).Prayer
· Allow the Word to speak to you personally
· Allow the Word to penetrate in your heart, that it may `dwell in you richly'· Allow the Word to change and fashion you.For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart (Hebrews 4:12).Prayer
We have considered the value of the prayers of our brothers and sisters. What about our own prayers? Prayer is a most powerful instrument because it allows us to converse with God as our Father, naturally and intimately, knowing that he is the 'Abba'---Daddy---of whom Paul speaks to us (Romans 8:15). It is in prayer, more than anywhere else, that God ceases to be a distant `it' and becomes the nearby and knowable 'Thou' of whom the German Jewish philosopher Martin Buber wrote.9 `In prayer one does not limit oneself to talking to God; one must speak with God, coram Deo, face to face with him.’10If meditating on the Word implies listening to God, allowing him to speak to you, prayer is where you speak to God.
But, even without realizing it, the Lord also uses this tool to mould us, to make us grow. Prayer has the power to change circumstances, but it also changes us. As Richard Foster has said, `Prayer is change. Prayer is the main avenue that God uses to transform us.’11 We have all experienced at one time or another how anxiety is replaced by the peace `that passes all understanding'; hatred and resentment by an attitude of forgiveness and even love; fear by trust; doubt by certainty, when we present ourselves before God with a sincere heart `in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving' (Philippians 4:6).
Because `prayer is the vital factor of faith, the believer prays. The person who prays, believes'.12These are the precious stones contained in the manifold grace of God. It is in personal application that the ultimate secret of the acceptance of the thorn is found. What amazing power is offered to us by the one who was able to bring the dead back to life! [112-127]
Spending Time with our young children is Love
Practically all parents consider their children as their mostimportant asset. So we send them for additional lessons in music, art,computer, speech and drama, dance, ballet, tennis, etc. We also buy forthem expensive toys, computer games, etc. to keep them occupied. Wethink that by doing so we are giving them a head start in life. But weseldom stop to ask ourselves whether we have equipped them for a life ofself-worth and confidence. Why do I say that?
It has been said that by the time a child is seven years old;his attitude is set for life. And when our young child constantly peltsus with his questions, (and we are hard pressed by our furiouslycompetitive jobs) how do we normally respond? Have we stopped andreflected on our attitude towards his insatiable questioning?
Now consider for a moment, a child coming into a room to ask Dador Mom questions or to invite Mom or Dad to play with him or to requestspending time with Dad or Mom, but the parent frequently says, "I'm toobusy now." What does that signal to the child? To the child the messageis perceived as. "To Dad, I'm not as important as the newspaper he isreading or the time he spends doing his work at the computer. To Mom, I'm not worth as much as her soap opera on television."
We forget that children rarely want to spend much time inconversation with their parents. Yes, they ask lots of questions andwhen they get the answers, they then move on to the next thing thatcaptures their attention. They may sit close a while, perhaps give orreceive a hug, and then they are off.
If you are a parent, I would encourage you to make time for yourchild when your child needs a moment. Most chores can be postponed for afew seconds or minutes. Most activities can be interrupted without yousuffering harm or losing out on important information. If you must delayyour response to your child for a minute or two, call your child to yourside and put your arm around him so that you convey the message, "I wantyou close to me. I like being with you.
I'm not rejecting you, merelydelaying my response to your question for a few moments." We don't think of the harm we are doing to their adult life whenwe fail to give them the time they need. Imagine what it is likewhenever we go and talk to our boss and our boss frequently has no timefor us. Our confidence will be shattered and our self-worth will plungedrastically. What about the child when we unthinkingly do the same?
Havewe spent time reflecting on this? Have I unconsciously sent a message tomy child that might be summed up, "What I want to do is vastly moreimportant than whatever pain I cause you." This message will beinternalized by the child as "I am not worth being around" "I am notworthy to be appreciated and noticed" and it will show up later in hislife as a lack of self-worth.
Parents, who make time to informally tutor their child and notscold them whenever the child asks question, will give the child a verystrong sense of self-identity and self-worth. They affirm their child.They give their attention to their child. They acknowledge to the childthat he is important and worth listening to. The child will have thisintuitive sense that, "I am important to my parents. I am so importantthat they want the very best for me, including the very best educationthey believe they can give to me.
I am so important that they arewilling to spend time and energy with me. My parents believe I have theability to learn and are willing to teach me, and therefore, I must beable to learn well." A cycle is created: the child is encouraged, thechild feels worthy, and the child makes an even bigger effort inlearning as a result of the feelings of self-worth. So the childachieves more and learns more. Through his accomplishments and theresulting praises and cheers from the parents, the child has an enhancedfeeling of self-worth and the cycle goes round again.
Unfortunately today, we have a mantra that many parents repeatby saying, "I spend quality time with my child and I don't need quantitytime with my child." They delude themselves! A child, who often doesnot feel he has access to his parents when he needs the access, does notfeel he is loved. He will feel ignored, shunned, insecure and of lessworth. Such a child will inevitably have problem with his sense ofself-worth later on in life.
The essence of our love for our children is not what we providefor them, but how much we give of ourselves to them. Men, in particular,often don't understand this. Many have said, "I don't understand mychildren. I provide them with everything they need. They don'tappreciate my hard work for them. What more do they want?" They wantyou! Your ears, your attention, your presence--- Yes your time. "Whatthat must be a joke. Where do I find the time in my stressful life?" yousay.
Your most precious gift is your time. Only when you give up your(leisure, computer, game, social, TV, etc) time, do you truly prove yourlove for your children. Whenever you give your time, you are making asacrifice, and sacrifice is the essence of love. Thus, you show yourlove in action and not in words only.
It has been said that by the time a child is seven years old;his attitude is set for life. And when our young child constantly peltsus with his questions, (and we are hard pressed by our furiouslycompetitive jobs) how do we normally respond? Have we stopped andreflected on our attitude towards his insatiable questioning?
Now consider for a moment, a child coming into a room to ask Dador Mom questions or to invite Mom or Dad to play with him or to requestspending time with Dad or Mom, but the parent frequently says, "I'm toobusy now." What does that signal to the child? To the child the messageis perceived as. "To Dad, I'm not as important as the newspaper he isreading or the time he spends doing his work at the computer. To Mom, I'm not worth as much as her soap opera on television."
We forget that children rarely want to spend much time inconversation with their parents. Yes, they ask lots of questions andwhen they get the answers, they then move on to the next thing thatcaptures their attention. They may sit close a while, perhaps give orreceive a hug, and then they are off.
If you are a parent, I would encourage you to make time for yourchild when your child needs a moment. Most chores can be postponed for afew seconds or minutes. Most activities can be interrupted without yousuffering harm or losing out on important information. If you must delayyour response to your child for a minute or two, call your child to yourside and put your arm around him so that you convey the message, "I wantyou close to me. I like being with you.
I'm not rejecting you, merelydelaying my response to your question for a few moments." We don't think of the harm we are doing to their adult life whenwe fail to give them the time they need. Imagine what it is likewhenever we go and talk to our boss and our boss frequently has no timefor us. Our confidence will be shattered and our self-worth will plungedrastically. What about the child when we unthinkingly do the same?
Havewe spent time reflecting on this? Have I unconsciously sent a message tomy child that might be summed up, "What I want to do is vastly moreimportant than whatever pain I cause you." This message will beinternalized by the child as "I am not worth being around" "I am notworthy to be appreciated and noticed" and it will show up later in hislife as a lack of self-worth.
Parents, who make time to informally tutor their child and notscold them whenever the child asks question, will give the child a verystrong sense of self-identity and self-worth. They affirm their child.They give their attention to their child. They acknowledge to the childthat he is important and worth listening to. The child will have thisintuitive sense that, "I am important to my parents. I am so importantthat they want the very best for me, including the very best educationthey believe they can give to me.
I am so important that they arewilling to spend time and energy with me. My parents believe I have theability to learn and are willing to teach me, and therefore, I must beable to learn well." A cycle is created: the child is encouraged, thechild feels worthy, and the child makes an even bigger effort inlearning as a result of the feelings of self-worth. So the childachieves more and learns more. Through his accomplishments and theresulting praises and cheers from the parents, the child has an enhancedfeeling of self-worth and the cycle goes round again.
Unfortunately today, we have a mantra that many parents repeatby saying, "I spend quality time with my child and I don't need quantitytime with my child." They delude themselves! A child, who often doesnot feel he has access to his parents when he needs the access, does notfeel he is loved. He will feel ignored, shunned, insecure and of lessworth. Such a child will inevitably have problem with his sense ofself-worth later on in life.
The essence of our love for our children is not what we providefor them, but how much we give of ourselves to them. Men, in particular,often don't understand this. Many have said, "I don't understand mychildren. I provide them with everything they need. They don'tappreciate my hard work for them. What more do they want?" They wantyou! Your ears, your attention, your presence--- Yes your time. "Whatthat must be a joke. Where do I find the time in my stressful life?" yousay.
Your most precious gift is your time. Only when you give up your(leisure, computer, game, social, TV, etc) time, do you truly prove yourlove for your children. Whenever you give your time, you are making asacrifice, and sacrifice is the essence of love. Thus, you show yourlove in action and not in words only.
Friday, June 19, 2009
Alexander Fleming
His name was Fleming, and he was a poor Scottish farmer. One day, while trying to eke out a living for his family, he heard a cry for help coming from a nearby bog. He dropped his tools and ran to the bog. There, mired to his waist in black muck, was a terrified boy, screaming and struggling to free himself. Farmer Fleming saved the lad from what could have been a slowand terrifying death.
The next day, a fancy carriage pulled up to the Scotsman's sparse surroundings. An elegantly dressed nobleman stepped out and introduced himself as the father of the boy Farmer Fleming had saved."I want to repay you," said the nobleman. "You saved my son's life.""No, I can't accept payment for what I did," the Scottish farmer replied, waving off the offer. At that moment, the farmer's own son came to the door of the family hovel."Is that your son?" the nobleman asked. "Yes," the farmer replied proudly."I'll make you a deal. Let me take him and give him a good education.If the lad is anything like his father, he'll grow to a man you can be proud of."And that he did.
In time, Farmer Fleming's son graduated from St. Mary's Hospital Medical School in London, and went on to become known throughout the world as the noted Sir Alexander Fleming, the discoverer of Penicillin.Years afterward, the nobleman's son was stricken with pneumonia. What saved him? Penicillin.The name of the nobleman? Lord Randolph Churchill.His son's name? Sir Winston Churchill.
Someone once said what goes around comes around.
The next day, a fancy carriage pulled up to the Scotsman's sparse surroundings. An elegantly dressed nobleman stepped out and introduced himself as the father of the boy Farmer Fleming had saved."I want to repay you," said the nobleman. "You saved my son's life.""No, I can't accept payment for what I did," the Scottish farmer replied, waving off the offer. At that moment, the farmer's own son came to the door of the family hovel."Is that your son?" the nobleman asked. "Yes," the farmer replied proudly."I'll make you a deal. Let me take him and give him a good education.If the lad is anything like his father, he'll grow to a man you can be proud of."And that he did.
In time, Farmer Fleming's son graduated from St. Mary's Hospital Medical School in London, and went on to become known throughout the world as the noted Sir Alexander Fleming, the discoverer of Penicillin.Years afterward, the nobleman's son was stricken with pneumonia. What saved him? Penicillin.The name of the nobleman? Lord Randolph Churchill.His son's name? Sir Winston Churchill.
Someone once said what goes around comes around.
Mothers day
A man stopped at a flower shop to order some flowers to be wired to his mother who lived two hundred miles away. As he got out of his car he noticed a young girl sitting on the curb sobbing.He asked her what was wrong and she replied, "I wanted to buy a red rose for my mother.But I only have seventy-five cents, and a rose costs two dollars." The man smiled and said, "Come on in with me. I'll buy you a rose."He bought the little girl her rose and ordered his own mother's flowers. As they were leaving he offered the girl a ride home. She said, "Yes, please! You can take me to my mother." She directed him to a cemetery, where she placed the rose on a freshly dug grave.The man returned to the flower shop, canceled the wire order, picked up a bouquet and drove the two hundred miles to his mother's house.
Eagles in a storm
Did you know that an eagle knows when a storm is approaching long before it breaks?
The eagle will fly to some high spot and wait for the winds to come. When the storm hits, it sets its wings so that the wind will pick it up and lift it above the storm. While the storm rages below, the eagle is soaring above it.
The eagle does not escape the storm. It simply uses the storm to lift it higher. It rises on the winds that bring the storm.
When the storms of life come upon us - and all of us will experience them - we can rise above them by setting our minds and our belief toward God. The storms do not have to overcome us. We can allow God's power to lift us above them.
God enables us to ride the winds of the storm that bring sickness, tragedy, failure and disappointment in our lives. We can soar above the storm.
Remember, it is not the burdens of life that weigh us down, it is how we handle them.
The eagle will fly to some high spot and wait for the winds to come. When the storm hits, it sets its wings so that the wind will pick it up and lift it above the storm. While the storm rages below, the eagle is soaring above it.
The eagle does not escape the storm. It simply uses the storm to lift it higher. It rises on the winds that bring the storm.
When the storms of life come upon us - and all of us will experience them - we can rise above them by setting our minds and our belief toward God. The storms do not have to overcome us. We can allow God's power to lift us above them.
God enables us to ride the winds of the storm that bring sickness, tragedy, failure and disappointment in our lives. We can soar above the storm.
Remember, it is not the burdens of life that weigh us down, it is how we handle them.
The Rose Within
A certain man planted a rose and watered it faithfully and before it blossomed, he examined it.
He saw the bud that would soon blossom, but noticed thorns upon the stem and he thought, "How can any beautiful flower come from a plant burdened with so many sharp thorns? Saddened by this thought, he neglected to water the rose, and just before it was ready to bloom... it died.
So it is with many people. Within every soul there is a rose. The God-like qualities planted in us at birth, grow amid the thorns of our faults. Many of us look at ourselves and see only the thorns, the defects.
We despair, thinking that nothing good can possibly come from us. We neglect to water the good within us, and eventually it dies. We never realize our potential.
Some people do not see the rose within themselves; someone else must show it to them. One of the greatest gifts a person can possess is to be able to reach past the thorns of another, and find the rose within them.
This is one of the characteristic of love... to look at a person, know their true faults and accepting that person into your life... all the while recognizing the nobility in their soul. Help others to realize they can overcome their faults. If we show them the "rose" within themselves, they will conquer their thorns. Only then will they blossom many times over.
He saw the bud that would soon blossom, but noticed thorns upon the stem and he thought, "How can any beautiful flower come from a plant burdened with so many sharp thorns? Saddened by this thought, he neglected to water the rose, and just before it was ready to bloom... it died.
So it is with many people. Within every soul there is a rose. The God-like qualities planted in us at birth, grow amid the thorns of our faults. Many of us look at ourselves and see only the thorns, the defects.
We despair, thinking that nothing good can possibly come from us. We neglect to water the good within us, and eventually it dies. We never realize our potential.
Some people do not see the rose within themselves; someone else must show it to them. One of the greatest gifts a person can possess is to be able to reach past the thorns of another, and find the rose within them.
This is one of the characteristic of love... to look at a person, know their true faults and accepting that person into your life... all the while recognizing the nobility in their soul. Help others to realize they can overcome their faults. If we show them the "rose" within themselves, they will conquer their thorns. Only then will they blossom many times over.
Building Your House
An elderly carpenter was ready to retire. He told his employer-contractor of his plans to leave the house-building business to live a more leisurely life with his wife and enjoy his extended family. He would miss the paycheck each week, but he wanted to retire. They could get by.
The contractor was sorry to see his good worker go & asked if he could build just one more house as a personal favor.
The carpenter said yes, but over time it was easy to see that his heart was not in his work. He resorted to shoddy workmanship and used inferior materials. It was an unfortunate way to end a dedicated career.
When the carpenter finished his work, his employer came to inspect the house. Then he handed the front-door key to the carpenter and said, "This is your house... my gift to you.
"The carpenter was shocked! What a shame! If he had only known he was building his own house, he would have done it all so differently.
So it is with us. We build our lives, a day at a time, often putting less than our best into the building. Then, with a shock, we realize we have to live in the house we have built. If we could do it over, we would do it much differently.But, you cannot go back. You are the carpenter, and every day you hammer a nail, place a board, or erect a wall.
Someone once said, "Life is a do-it-yourself project." Your attitude, and the choices you make today, help build the "house" you will live in tomorrow. Therefore, Build wisely!
The contractor was sorry to see his good worker go & asked if he could build just one more house as a personal favor.
The carpenter said yes, but over time it was easy to see that his heart was not in his work. He resorted to shoddy workmanship and used inferior materials. It was an unfortunate way to end a dedicated career.
When the carpenter finished his work, his employer came to inspect the house. Then he handed the front-door key to the carpenter and said, "This is your house... my gift to you.
"The carpenter was shocked! What a shame! If he had only known he was building his own house, he would have done it all so differently.
So it is with us. We build our lives, a day at a time, often putting less than our best into the building. Then, with a shock, we realize we have to live in the house we have built. If we could do it over, we would do it much differently.But, you cannot go back. You are the carpenter, and every day you hammer a nail, place a board, or erect a wall.
Someone once said, "Life is a do-it-yourself project." Your attitude, and the choices you make today, help build the "house" you will live in tomorrow. Therefore, Build wisely!
Mountain Story
"A son and his father were walking on the mountains.Suddenly, his son falls, hurts himself and screams: "AAAhhhhhhhhhhh!!!"
To his surprise, he hears the voice repeating, somewhere in the mountain: "AAAhhhhhhhhhhh!!!"Curious, he yells: "Who are you?"He receives the answer: "Who are you?"And then he screams to the mountain: "I admire you!"The voice answers: "I admire you!"Angered at the response, he screams: "Coward!"He receives the answer: "Coward!
"He looks to his father and asks: "What's going on?"The father smiles and says: "My son, pay attention."Again the man screams: "You are a champion!"The voice answers: "You are a champion!"The boy is surprised, but does not understand.
Then the father explains: "People call this ECHO, but really this is LIFE.It gives you back everything you say or do.Our life is simply a reflection of our actions.If you want more love in the world, create more love in your heart.If you want more competence in your team, improve your competence.This relationship applies to everything, in all aspects of life;Life will give you back everything you have given to it."
YOUR LIFE IS NOT A COINCIDENCE. IT'S A REFLECTION OF YOU!"
To his surprise, he hears the voice repeating, somewhere in the mountain: "AAAhhhhhhhhhhh!!!"Curious, he yells: "Who are you?"He receives the answer: "Who are you?"And then he screams to the mountain: "I admire you!"The voice answers: "I admire you!"Angered at the response, he screams: "Coward!"He receives the answer: "Coward!
"He looks to his father and asks: "What's going on?"The father smiles and says: "My son, pay attention."Again the man screams: "You are a champion!"The voice answers: "You are a champion!"The boy is surprised, but does not understand.
Then the father explains: "People call this ECHO, but really this is LIFE.It gives you back everything you say or do.Our life is simply a reflection of our actions.If you want more love in the world, create more love in your heart.If you want more competence in your team, improve your competence.This relationship applies to everything, in all aspects of life;Life will give you back everything you have given to it."
YOUR LIFE IS NOT A COINCIDENCE. IT'S A REFLECTION OF YOU!"
Two frogs
A group of frogs were traveling through the woods, and two of them fell into a deep pit. When the other frogs saw how deep the pit was, they told the two frogs that they were as good as dead. The two frogs ignored the comments and tried to jump up out of the pit with all their might. The other frogs kept telling them to stop, that they were as good as dead. Finally, one of the frogs took heed to what the other frogs were saying and gave up. He fell down and died.
The other frog continued to jump as hard as he could. Once again, the crowd of frogs yelled at him to stop the pain and just die. He jumped even harder and finally made it out. When he got out, the other frogs said, "Did you not hear us?" The frog explained to them that he was deaf. He thought they were encouraging him the entire time.
This story teaches two lessons:
1. There is power of life and death in the tongue. An encouraging word to someone who is down can lift them up and help them make it through the day.
2. A destructive word to someone who is down can be what it takes to kill them.
Be careful of what you say. Speak life to those who cross your path. The power of words... it is sometimes hard to understand that an encouraging word can go such a long way. Anyone can speak words that tend to rob another of the spirit to continue in difficult times. Special is the individual who will take the time to encourage another.
The other frog continued to jump as hard as he could. Once again, the crowd of frogs yelled at him to stop the pain and just die. He jumped even harder and finally made it out. When he got out, the other frogs said, "Did you not hear us?" The frog explained to them that he was deaf. He thought they were encouraging him the entire time.
This story teaches two lessons:
1. There is power of life and death in the tongue. An encouraging word to someone who is down can lift them up and help them make it through the day.
2. A destructive word to someone who is down can be what it takes to kill them.
Be careful of what you say. Speak life to those who cross your path. The power of words... it is sometimes hard to understand that an encouraging word can go such a long way. Anyone can speak words that tend to rob another of the spirit to continue in difficult times. Special is the individual who will take the time to encourage another.
Trees That Wood
Once there were three trees on a hill in the woods. They were discussing their hopes and dreams when the first tree said, "Someday I hope to be a treasure chest. I could be filled with gold, silver and precious gems. I could be decorated with intricate carving and everyone would see the beauty."
Then the second tree said, "Someday I will be a mighty ship. I will take kings and queens across the waters and sail to the corners of the world. Everyone will feel safe in me because of the strength of my hull."
Finally the third tree said, "I want to grow to be the tallest and straightest tree in the forest. People will see me on top of the hill and look up to my branches, and think of the heavens and God and how close to them I am reaching. I will be the greatest tree of all time and people will always remember me."
After a few years of praying that their dreams would come true, a group of woodsmen came upon the trees. When one came to the first tree he said, "This looks like a strong tree, I think I should be able to sell the wood to a carpenter" ... and he began cutting it down. The tree was happy, because he knew that the carpenter would make him into a treasure chest.
At the second tree a woodsman said, "This looks like a strong tree, I should be able to sell it to the shipyard." The second tree was happy because he knew he was on his way to becoming a mighty ship.
When the woodsmen came upon the third tree, the tree was frightened because he knew that if they cut him down his dreams would not come true. One of the woodsmen said, "I don't need anything special from my tree so I'll take this one", and he cut it down.
When the first tree arrived at the carpenters, he was made into a feed box for animals. He was then placed in a barn and filled with hay. This was not at all what he had prayed for. The second tree was cut and made into a small fishing boat. His dreams of being a mighty ship and carrying kings had come to an end. The third tree was cut into large pieces and left alone in the dark. The years went by, and the trees forgot about their dreams.
Then one day, a man and woman came to the barn. She gave birth and they placed the baby in the hay in the feed box that was made from the first tree. The man wished that he could have made a crib for the baby, but this manger would have to do. The tree could feel the importance of this event and knew that it had held the greatest treasure of all time. Years later, a group of men got in the fishing boat made from the second tree. One of them was tired and went to sleep. While they were out on the water, a great storm arose and the tree didn't think it was strong enough to keep the men safe. The men woke the sleeping man, and he stood and said "Peace" and the storm stopped. At this time, the tree knew that it had carried the King of Kings in its boat.
Finally, someone came and got the third tree. It was carried through the streets as the people mocked the man who was carrying it. When they came to a stop, the man was nailed to the tree and raised in the air to die at the top of a hill. When Sunday came, the tree came to realize that it was strong enough to stand at the top of the hill and be as close to God as was possible, because Jesus had been crucified on it.
The moral of this story is that when things don't seem to be going your way, always know that God has a plan for you. If you place your trust in Him, He will give you great gifts. Each of the trees got what they wanted, just not in the way they had imagined. We don't always know what God's plans are for us. We just know that His ways are not our ways, but His ways are always best.
Then the second tree said, "Someday I will be a mighty ship. I will take kings and queens across the waters and sail to the corners of the world. Everyone will feel safe in me because of the strength of my hull."
Finally the third tree said, "I want to grow to be the tallest and straightest tree in the forest. People will see me on top of the hill and look up to my branches, and think of the heavens and God and how close to them I am reaching. I will be the greatest tree of all time and people will always remember me."
After a few years of praying that their dreams would come true, a group of woodsmen came upon the trees. When one came to the first tree he said, "This looks like a strong tree, I think I should be able to sell the wood to a carpenter" ... and he began cutting it down. The tree was happy, because he knew that the carpenter would make him into a treasure chest.
At the second tree a woodsman said, "This looks like a strong tree, I should be able to sell it to the shipyard." The second tree was happy because he knew he was on his way to becoming a mighty ship.
When the woodsmen came upon the third tree, the tree was frightened because he knew that if they cut him down his dreams would not come true. One of the woodsmen said, "I don't need anything special from my tree so I'll take this one", and he cut it down.
When the first tree arrived at the carpenters, he was made into a feed box for animals. He was then placed in a barn and filled with hay. This was not at all what he had prayed for. The second tree was cut and made into a small fishing boat. His dreams of being a mighty ship and carrying kings had come to an end. The third tree was cut into large pieces and left alone in the dark. The years went by, and the trees forgot about their dreams.
Then one day, a man and woman came to the barn. She gave birth and they placed the baby in the hay in the feed box that was made from the first tree. The man wished that he could have made a crib for the baby, but this manger would have to do. The tree could feel the importance of this event and knew that it had held the greatest treasure of all time. Years later, a group of men got in the fishing boat made from the second tree. One of them was tired and went to sleep. While they were out on the water, a great storm arose and the tree didn't think it was strong enough to keep the men safe. The men woke the sleeping man, and he stood and said "Peace" and the storm stopped. At this time, the tree knew that it had carried the King of Kings in its boat.
Finally, someone came and got the third tree. It was carried through the streets as the people mocked the man who was carrying it. When they came to a stop, the man was nailed to the tree and raised in the air to die at the top of a hill. When Sunday came, the tree came to realize that it was strong enough to stand at the top of the hill and be as close to God as was possible, because Jesus had been crucified on it.
The moral of this story is that when things don't seem to be going your way, always know that God has a plan for you. If you place your trust in Him, He will give you great gifts. Each of the trees got what they wanted, just not in the way they had imagined. We don't always know what God's plans are for us. We just know that His ways are not our ways, but His ways are always best.
The Wooden Bowl
A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, and a four-year old grandson. The old man's hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered. The family ate together nightly at the dinner table. But the elderly grandfather's shaky hands and failing sight made eating rather difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor. When he grasped the glass often milk spilled on the tablecloth. The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess. "We must do something about grandfather," said the son. I've had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor. So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner. There, grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner at the dinner table. Since grandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl. Sometimes when the family glanced in grandfather's direction, he had a tear in his eye as he ate alone. Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food. The four-year-old watched it all in silence.
One evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor. He asked the child sweetly, "What are you making?" Just as sweetly, the boy responded, "Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and mama to eat your food from when I grow up." The four-year-old smiled and went back to work. The words so struck the parents that they were speechless. Then tears started to stream down their cheeks. Though no word was spoken, both knew what must be done. That evening the husband took grandfather's hand and gently led him back to the family table.
For the remainder of his days he ate every meal with the family. And for some reason, neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth soiled. Children are remarkably perceptive. Their eyes ever observe, their ears ever listen, and their minds ever process the messages they absorb. If they see us patiently provide a happy home atmosphere for family members, they will imitate that attitude for the rest of their lives. The wise parent realizes that every day that building blocks are being laid for the child's future.
Let us all be wise builders and role models. Take care of yourself, ... and those you love, ... today, and everyday!
One evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor. He asked the child sweetly, "What are you making?" Just as sweetly, the boy responded, "Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and mama to eat your food from when I grow up." The four-year-old smiled and went back to work. The words so struck the parents that they were speechless. Then tears started to stream down their cheeks. Though no word was spoken, both knew what must be done. That evening the husband took grandfather's hand and gently led him back to the family table.
For the remainder of his days he ate every meal with the family. And for some reason, neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth soiled. Children are remarkably perceptive. Their eyes ever observe, their ears ever listen, and their minds ever process the messages they absorb. If they see us patiently provide a happy home atmosphere for family members, they will imitate that attitude for the rest of their lives. The wise parent realizes that every day that building blocks are being laid for the child's future.
Let us all be wise builders and role models. Take care of yourself, ... and those you love, ... today, and everyday!
Life Still Has A Meaning
If there is a future there is time for mending-Time to see your troubles coming to an ending.
Life is never hopeless however great your sorrow-If you're looking forward to a new tomorrow.
If there is time for wishing then there is time for hoping-When through doubt and darkness you are blindly groping.
Though the heart be heavy and hurt you may be feeling-If there is time for praying there is time for healing.
So if through your window there is a new day breaking-Thank God for the promise, though mind and soul be aching,
If with harvest over there is grain enough for gleaning-There is a new tomorrow and life still has meaning.
Life is never hopeless however great your sorrow-If you're looking forward to a new tomorrow.
If there is time for wishing then there is time for hoping-When through doubt and darkness you are blindly groping.
Though the heart be heavy and hurt you may be feeling-If there is time for praying there is time for healing.
So if through your window there is a new day breaking-Thank God for the promise, though mind and soul be aching,
If with harvest over there is grain enough for gleaning-There is a new tomorrow and life still has meaning.
The obstacle in our path
In ancient times, a king had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the king's wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it.
Many loudly blamed the king for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the big stone out of the way. Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. On approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. As the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the king indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The peasant learned what many others never understand.
Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve one's condition.
Many loudly blamed the king for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the big stone out of the way. Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. On approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. As the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the king indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The peasant learned what many others never understand.
Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve one's condition.
Butterfly
A man found a cocoon of a butterfly. One day a small opening appeared. He sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through that little hole. Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could, and it could go no further.
So the man decided to help the butterfly. He took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon.
The butterfly then emerged easily. But it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings.
The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time.
Neither happened! In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings. It never was able to fly.
What the man, in his kindness and haste, did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening were God's way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.
Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our lives. If God allowed us to go through our lives without any obstacles, it would cripple us.
We would not be as strong as what we could have been. We could never fly!
I asked for Strength.........And God gave me Difficulties to make me strong.
I asked for Wisdom.........And God gave me Problems to solve.
I asked for Prosperity.........And God gave me Brain and Brawn to work.
I asked for Courage.........And God gave me Danger to overcome.
I asked for Love.........And God gave me Troubled people to help.
I asked for Favors.........And God gave me Opportunities.
I received nothing I wanted ........I received everything I needed!
Trust in God. Always !
So the man decided to help the butterfly. He took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon.
The butterfly then emerged easily. But it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings.
The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time.
Neither happened! In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings. It never was able to fly.
What the man, in his kindness and haste, did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening were God's way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.
Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our lives. If God allowed us to go through our lives without any obstacles, it would cripple us.
We would not be as strong as what we could have been. We could never fly!
I asked for Strength.........And God gave me Difficulties to make me strong.
I asked for Wisdom.........And God gave me Problems to solve.
I asked for Prosperity.........And God gave me Brain and Brawn to work.
I asked for Courage.........And God gave me Danger to overcome.
I asked for Love.........And God gave me Troubled people to help.
I asked for Favors.........And God gave me Opportunities.
I received nothing I wanted ........I received everything I needed!
Trust in God. Always !
The brick
About ten years ago, a young and very successful executive named Josh was traveling down a Chicago neighborhood street. He was going a bit too fast in his sleek, black, 12 cylinder Jaguar XKE, which was only two months old.
He was watching for kids darting out from between parked cars and slowed down when he thought he saw something. As his car passed, no child darted out, but a brick sailed out and - WHUMP! - it smashed Into the Jag's shiny black side door! SCREECH..!!!! Brakes slammed! Gears ground into reverse, and tires madly spun the Jaguar back to the spot from where the brick had been thrown. Josh jumped out of the car, grabbed the kid and pushed him up against a parked car. He shouted at the kid, "What was that all about and who are you? Just what the heck are you doing?!" Building up a head of steam, he went on. "That's my new Jag, that brick you threw is gonna cost you a lot of money. Why did you throw it?"
"Please, mister, please. . . I'm sorry! I didn't know what else to do!" Pleaded the youngster. "I threw the brick because no one else would stop!" Tears were dripping down the boy's chin as he pointed around the parked car. "It's my brother, mister," he said. "He rolled off the curb and fell out of his wheelchair and I can't lift him up." Sobbing, the boy asked the executive, "Would you please help me get him back into his wheelchair? He's hurt and he's too heavy for me."
Moved beyond words, the young executive tried desperately to swallow the rapidly swelling lump in his throat. Straining, he lifted the young man back into the wheelchair and took out his handkerchief and wiped the scrapes and cuts, checking to see that everything was going to be OK. He then watched the younger brother push him down the sidewalk toward their home.
It was a long walk back to the sleek, black, shining, 12 cylinder Jaguar XKE -a long and slow walk. Josh never did fix the side door of his Jaguar. He kept the dent to remind him not to go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at him to get his attention. . . Some bricks are softer than others. Feel for the bricks of life coming at to you. For all the negative things we have to say to ourselves, God has positive answers.
He was watching for kids darting out from between parked cars and slowed down when he thought he saw something. As his car passed, no child darted out, but a brick sailed out and - WHUMP! - it smashed Into the Jag's shiny black side door! SCREECH..!!!! Brakes slammed! Gears ground into reverse, and tires madly spun the Jaguar back to the spot from where the brick had been thrown. Josh jumped out of the car, grabbed the kid and pushed him up against a parked car. He shouted at the kid, "What was that all about and who are you? Just what the heck are you doing?!" Building up a head of steam, he went on. "That's my new Jag, that brick you threw is gonna cost you a lot of money. Why did you throw it?"
"Please, mister, please. . . I'm sorry! I didn't know what else to do!" Pleaded the youngster. "I threw the brick because no one else would stop!" Tears were dripping down the boy's chin as he pointed around the parked car. "It's my brother, mister," he said. "He rolled off the curb and fell out of his wheelchair and I can't lift him up." Sobbing, the boy asked the executive, "Would you please help me get him back into his wheelchair? He's hurt and he's too heavy for me."
Moved beyond words, the young executive tried desperately to swallow the rapidly swelling lump in his throat. Straining, he lifted the young man back into the wheelchair and took out his handkerchief and wiped the scrapes and cuts, checking to see that everything was going to be OK. He then watched the younger brother push him down the sidewalk toward their home.
It was a long walk back to the sleek, black, shining, 12 cylinder Jaguar XKE -a long and slow walk. Josh never did fix the side door of his Jaguar. He kept the dent to remind him not to go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at him to get his attention. . . Some bricks are softer than others. Feel for the bricks of life coming at to you. For all the negative things we have to say to ourselves, God has positive answers.
Friendship and Love
- Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear.
- Don't cry over anyone who won't cry over you.
- Good friends are hard to find, harder to leave, and impossible to forget.
- You can only go as far as you push.
- Actions speak louder than words.
- The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love somebody else.
- Don't let the past hold you back; you're missing the good stuff.
- Life's short. If you don't look around once in a while, you might miss it.
- A best friend is like a four leaf clover: hard to find and lucky to have.
If you think that the world means nothing, think again. You might mean the world to someone else. - When it hurts to look back, and you're scared to look ahead, you can look beside you and your best friend will be there
- True friendship never ends.
- Friends are forever.
- Good friends are like stars....You don't always see them, but you know they are always there.
Don't frown. You never know who is falling in love with your smile. - What do you do when the only person who can make you stop crying is the person who made you cry?
- NOBODY IS PERFECT UNTIL YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH THEM. (Isn't that the truth?)
- Everything is okay in the end. If it's not okay, then it's not the end.
Most people walk in and out of you life. But only True friends leave footprints in your heart. in your heart.
Touching life story.....
A young man was getting ready to graduate college. For many months he had admired a beautiful sports car in a dealer's showroom, and knowing his father could well afford it, he told him that was all he wanted.
As Graduation Day approached, the young man awaited signs that his father had purchased the car. Finally, on the morning of his graduation his father called him into his private study. His father told him how proud he was to have such a fine son, and told him how much he loved him. He handed his son a beautiful wrapped gift box.
Curious, but somewhat disappointed the young man opened the box and found a lovely, leather-bound Bible. Angrily, he raised his voice at his father and said, "With all your money you give me a Bible?" and stormed out of the house, leaving the holy book.
Many years passed and the young man was very successful in business. He had a beautiful home and wonderful family, but realized his father was very old, and thought perhaps he should go to him. He had not seen him since that graduation day. Before he could make arrangements, he received a telegram telling him his father had passed away, and willed all of his possessions to his son. He needed to come home immediately and take care things. When he arrived at his father's house, sudden sadness and regret filled his heart.
He began to search his father's important papers and saw the still new Bible, just as he had left it years ago. With tears, he opened the Bible and began to turn the pages. As he read those words, a car key dropped from an envelope taped behind the Bible. It had a tag with the dealer's name, the same dealer who had the sports car he had desired. On the tag was the date of his graduation, and the words...PAID IN FULL.
How many times do we miss God's blessings because they are not packaged as we expected?
As Graduation Day approached, the young man awaited signs that his father had purchased the car. Finally, on the morning of his graduation his father called him into his private study. His father told him how proud he was to have such a fine son, and told him how much he loved him. He handed his son a beautiful wrapped gift box.
Curious, but somewhat disappointed the young man opened the box and found a lovely, leather-bound Bible. Angrily, he raised his voice at his father and said, "With all your money you give me a Bible?" and stormed out of the house, leaving the holy book.
Many years passed and the young man was very successful in business. He had a beautiful home and wonderful family, but realized his father was very old, and thought perhaps he should go to him. He had not seen him since that graduation day. Before he could make arrangements, he received a telegram telling him his father had passed away, and willed all of his possessions to his son. He needed to come home immediately and take care things. When he arrived at his father's house, sudden sadness and regret filled his heart.
He began to search his father's important papers and saw the still new Bible, just as he had left it years ago. With tears, he opened the Bible and began to turn the pages. As he read those words, a car key dropped from an envelope taped behind the Bible. It had a tag with the dealer's name, the same dealer who had the sports car he had desired. On the tag was the date of his graduation, and the words...PAID IN FULL.
How many times do we miss God's blessings because they are not packaged as we expected?
Determination
In 1883, a creative engineer named John Roebling was inspired by an idea to build a spectacular bridge connecting New York with the Long Island. However bridge building experts throughout the world thought that this was an impossible feat and told Roebling to forget the idea. It just could not be done. It was not practical. It had never been done before.
Roebling could not ignore the vision he had in his mind of this bridge. He thought about it all the time and he knew deep in his heart that it could be done. He just had to share the dream with someone else. After much discussion and persuasion he managed to convince his son Washington, an up and coming engineer, that the bridge in fact could be built.
Working together for the first time, the father and son developed concepts of how it could be accomplished and how the obstacles could be overcome. With great excitement and inspiration, and the headiness of a wild challenge before them, they hired their crew and began to build their dream bridge.
The project started well, but when it was only a few months underway a tragic accident on the site took the life of John Roebling. Washington was injured and left with a certain amount of brain damage, which resulted in him not being able to walk or talk or even move.
"We told them so.""Crazy men and their crazy dreams.""It`s foolish to chase wild visions."
Everyone had a negative comment to make and felt that the project should be scrapped since the Roeblings were the only ones who knew how the bridge could be built. In spite of his handicap Washington was never discouraged and still had a burning desire to complete the bridge and his mind was still as sharp as ever.
He tried to inspire and pass on his enthusiasm to some of his friends, but they were too daunted by the task. As he lay on his bed in his hospital room, with the sunlight streaming through the windows, a gentle breeze blew the flimsy white curtains apart and he was able to see the sky and the tops of the trees outside for just a moment.
It seemed that there was a message for him not to give up. Suddenly an idea hit him. All he could do was move one finger and he decided to make the best use of it. By moving this, he slowly developed a code of communication with his wife.
He touched his wife's arm with that finger, indicating to her that he wanted her to call the engineers again. Then he used the same method of tapping her arm to tell the engineers what to do. It seemed foolish but the project was under way again.
For 13 years Washington tapped out his instructions with his finger on his wife's arm, until the bridge was finally completed. Today the spectacular Brooklyn Bridge stands in all its glory as a tribute to the triumph of one man's indomitable spirit and his determination not to be defeated by circumstances. It is also a tribute to the engineers and their team work, and to their faith in a man who was considered mad by half the world. It stands too as a tangible monument to the love and devotion of his wife who for 13 long years patiently decoded the messages of her husband and told the engineers what to do.
Perhaps this is one of the best examples of a never-say-die attitude that overcomes a terrible physical handicap and achieves an impossible goal.
Often when we face obstacles in our day-to-day life, our hurdles seem very small in comparison to what many others have to face. The Brooklyn Bridge shows us that dreams that seem impossible can be realised with determination and persistence, no matter what the odds are.
Even the most distant dream can be realized with determination and persistence.
Roebling could not ignore the vision he had in his mind of this bridge. He thought about it all the time and he knew deep in his heart that it could be done. He just had to share the dream with someone else. After much discussion and persuasion he managed to convince his son Washington, an up and coming engineer, that the bridge in fact could be built.
Working together for the first time, the father and son developed concepts of how it could be accomplished and how the obstacles could be overcome. With great excitement and inspiration, and the headiness of a wild challenge before them, they hired their crew and began to build their dream bridge.
The project started well, but when it was only a few months underway a tragic accident on the site took the life of John Roebling. Washington was injured and left with a certain amount of brain damage, which resulted in him not being able to walk or talk or even move.
"We told them so.""Crazy men and their crazy dreams.""It`s foolish to chase wild visions."
Everyone had a negative comment to make and felt that the project should be scrapped since the Roeblings were the only ones who knew how the bridge could be built. In spite of his handicap Washington was never discouraged and still had a burning desire to complete the bridge and his mind was still as sharp as ever.
He tried to inspire and pass on his enthusiasm to some of his friends, but they were too daunted by the task. As he lay on his bed in his hospital room, with the sunlight streaming through the windows, a gentle breeze blew the flimsy white curtains apart and he was able to see the sky and the tops of the trees outside for just a moment.
It seemed that there was a message for him not to give up. Suddenly an idea hit him. All he could do was move one finger and he decided to make the best use of it. By moving this, he slowly developed a code of communication with his wife.
He touched his wife's arm with that finger, indicating to her that he wanted her to call the engineers again. Then he used the same method of tapping her arm to tell the engineers what to do. It seemed foolish but the project was under way again.
For 13 years Washington tapped out his instructions with his finger on his wife's arm, until the bridge was finally completed. Today the spectacular Brooklyn Bridge stands in all its glory as a tribute to the triumph of one man's indomitable spirit and his determination not to be defeated by circumstances. It is also a tribute to the engineers and their team work, and to their faith in a man who was considered mad by half the world. It stands too as a tangible monument to the love and devotion of his wife who for 13 long years patiently decoded the messages of her husband and told the engineers what to do.
Perhaps this is one of the best examples of a never-say-die attitude that overcomes a terrible physical handicap and achieves an impossible goal.
Often when we face obstacles in our day-to-day life, our hurdles seem very small in comparison to what many others have to face. The Brooklyn Bridge shows us that dreams that seem impossible can be realised with determination and persistence, no matter what the odds are.
Even the most distant dream can be realized with determination and persistence.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Superman
Superman was feeling bored after a long streak of crimefighting and wanted to go out and party, so he called Batman to ask if he wanted to go to a club and pick up some girls. Batman said Robin was ill and he had to look after him.
A little disappointed, Superman called Spiderman to see if he fancied a few beers. Spiderman told him he had a date with Catwoman.
As a last resort, Superman flew over to Wonderwoman's apartment to see if she was free.
As he landed on her balcony, he saw Wonderwoman naked on the bed with her legs open.
Superman thought to himself : I'm faster than a speeding bullet. I could be in there, have sex and be out again before she knew wat was happening.
So Superman did his superthing in a split second and flew off happily. Meanwhile on the bed, Wonderwoman said:" Did you hear something?"
"No !" said the Invisible Man,... " but my ass hurts like hell !"
A little disappointed, Superman called Spiderman to see if he fancied a few beers. Spiderman told him he had a date with Catwoman.
As a last resort, Superman flew over to Wonderwoman's apartment to see if she was free.
As he landed on her balcony, he saw Wonderwoman naked on the bed with her legs open.
Superman thought to himself : I'm faster than a speeding bullet. I could be in there, have sex and be out again before she knew wat was happening.
So Superman did his superthing in a split second and flew off happily. Meanwhile on the bed, Wonderwoman said:" Did you hear something?"
"No !" said the Invisible Man,... " but my ass hurts like hell !"
3 Men and what they Threw away
3 men were sitting on a building, they were ordered to throw something away.
The 1st man threw his gold, 2nd: his wine, 3rd: a bomb.
They were walking one day, and the 1st person saw a girl crying, he asked why she was crying, she said a piece of gold hit her. "sorry that was me", he said.
Same thing with the next girl, but she had wine on her head, which dyed her hair purple.
The 3rd person saw a girl laughing hysterically, he asked what was so funny. She said: Daddy farted and the whole house blew up!
The 1st man threw his gold, 2nd: his wine, 3rd: a bomb.
They were walking one day, and the 1st person saw a girl crying, he asked why she was crying, she said a piece of gold hit her. "sorry that was me", he said.
Same thing with the next girl, but she had wine on her head, which dyed her hair purple.
The 3rd person saw a girl laughing hysterically, he asked what was so funny. She said: Daddy farted and the whole house blew up!
Heaven
It got crowded in heaven, so, for one day it was decided only to accept people who had really had a bad day on the day they died.
St. Peter was standing at the pearly gates and said to the first man, "Tell me about the day you died." The man said, "Oh, it was awful. I was sure my wife was having an affair, so I came home early to catch her with him. I searched all over the apartment but couldn't find him anywhere. So I went out onto the balcony, we live on the 25th floor, and found this man hanging over the edge by his fingertips. I went inside, got a hammer, and started hitting his hands. He fell, but landed in some bushes. So, I got the refrigerator and pushed it over the balcony and it crushed him. The strain of the act gave me a heart attack, and I died.
"St. Peter couldn't deny that this was a pretty bad day, and since it was a crime of passion, he let the man in.
He then asked the next man in line about the day he died. "Well, sir, it was awful," said the second man. "I was doing aerobics on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment when I twisted my ankle and slipped over the edge. I managed to grab the balcony of the apartment below, but some maniac came out and started pounding on my fingers with a hammer. Luckily I landed in some bushes. But, then the guy dropped a refrigerator on me!
"St. Peter chuckled, let him into heaven and decided he could really start to enjoy this job. "Tell me about the day you died?", he said to the third man in line. "OK, picture this, I'm naked, hiding inside a refrigerator...."
St. Peter was standing at the pearly gates and said to the first man, "Tell me about the day you died." The man said, "Oh, it was awful. I was sure my wife was having an affair, so I came home early to catch her with him. I searched all over the apartment but couldn't find him anywhere. So I went out onto the balcony, we live on the 25th floor, and found this man hanging over the edge by his fingertips. I went inside, got a hammer, and started hitting his hands. He fell, but landed in some bushes. So, I got the refrigerator and pushed it over the balcony and it crushed him. The strain of the act gave me a heart attack, and I died.
"St. Peter couldn't deny that this was a pretty bad day, and since it was a crime of passion, he let the man in.
He then asked the next man in line about the day he died. "Well, sir, it was awful," said the second man. "I was doing aerobics on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment when I twisted my ankle and slipped over the edge. I managed to grab the balcony of the apartment below, but some maniac came out and started pounding on my fingers with a hammer. Luckily I landed in some bushes. But, then the guy dropped a refrigerator on me!
"St. Peter chuckled, let him into heaven and decided he could really start to enjoy this job. "Tell me about the day you died?", he said to the third man in line. "OK, picture this, I'm naked, hiding inside a refrigerator...."
Shooting Birds
There was a father who was very close to his son. They used to go
everywhere together including calling "chicken" (Chinese slang for prostitute).
One day, the son decided to go oversea for study. The father was very
supportive. Before his son left, the father told the son, "We cannot look for chicken together for the next few years. However, if you need to call chicken, please go ahead and I will pay for it. But please state the expense as 'Shooting Bird' so that your mum will not suspect."
So the son left. For the first month, the father received the bill from the son (Shooting bird - $1000).
Subsequently for the next few months, the bill for shooting bird is above $1000. The father could not tolerate this any more, so he wrote to his son.
"Son, you have been shooting too expensive bird, try some cheaper one". A month later, the father received another bill from his son. It wrote: Shooting Bird - $50, Rifle Repair - $2,000
everywhere together including calling "chicken" (Chinese slang for prostitute).
One day, the son decided to go oversea for study. The father was very
supportive. Before his son left, the father told the son, "We cannot look for chicken together for the next few years. However, if you need to call chicken, please go ahead and I will pay for it. But please state the expense as 'Shooting Bird' so that your mum will not suspect."
So the son left. For the first month, the father received the bill from the son (Shooting bird - $1000).
Subsequently for the next few months, the bill for shooting bird is above $1000. The father could not tolerate this any more, so he wrote to his son.
"Son, you have been shooting too expensive bird, try some cheaper one". A month later, the father received another bill from his son. It wrote: Shooting Bird - $50, Rifle Repair - $2,000
The breakfast fuss
At a breakfast table, there were a British couple, an American couple and an Australian couple.
The British husband, who liked to use puns, said to his wife, "Can you pass the honey, Honey?"
Not wanting to lose out, the American husband turned and said to his wife,"Do you mind passing the sugar, Sugar?"
The Australian husband did not want to lose out either but he could not think how else he could emulate the other 2 husbands ....
Finally, he spoke to his wife, "Pass me the bacon, you Pig!!"
The British husband, who liked to use puns, said to his wife, "Can you pass the honey, Honey?"
Not wanting to lose out, the American husband turned and said to his wife,"Do you mind passing the sugar, Sugar?"
The Australian husband did not want to lose out either but he could not think how else he could emulate the other 2 husbands ....
Finally, he spoke to his wife, "Pass me the bacon, you Pig!!"
Be Happy Always- The Right Attitude
Jerry is the manager of a restaurant in America. He is always in a good mood and
always has something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing,
he would always reply, "If I were any better, I would be twins!"
Many of the waiters at his restaurant quit their jobs when he changed jobs, so they
could follow him around from restaurant to restaurant.
The reason the waiters followed Jerry was because of his attitude. He was a natural
motivator. If an employee was having a bad day, Jerry was always there, telling the
employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.
Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to Jerry and asked him,
"I don't get it! No one can be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?"
Jerry replied, "Each morning I wake up and say to myself, I have two choices today.
I can choose to be in a good mood or I can choose to be in a bad mood. I always choose
to be in a good mood. Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or
I can choose to learn from it. I always choose to learn from it.
Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or
I can point out the positive side of life. I always choose the positive side of life
"But it's not always that easy," I protested.
"Yes it is," Jerry said. "Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk,
every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people
will affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. It's your choice how
you live your life."
Several years later, I heard that Jerry accidentally did something you are never
supposed to do in the restaurant business: he left the back door of his restaurant open
one morning and was robbed by three armed men. While trying to open the safe, his hand,
shaking from nervousness, slipped off the combination. The robbers panicked and shot him.
Luckily, Jerry was found quickly and rushed to the hospital. After 18 hours of surgery and
weeks of intensive care, Jerry was released from the hospital with fragments of the bullets
still in his body. I saw Jerry about six months after the accident. When I asked him how he
was, he replied, "If I were any better, I'd be twins. Want to see my scars?"
I declined to see his wounds, but did ask him what had gone through his mind as the robbery
took place. "The first thing that went through my mind was that I should have locked the back
door," Jerry replied. "Then, after they shot me, as I lay on the floor, I remembered that I
had two choices: I could choose to live or could choose to die. I chose to live.
"Weren't you scared" I asked. Jerry continued, "The paramedics were great. They kept
telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the Emergency Room and
I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared.
In their eyes, I read 'He's a dead man.' I knew I needed to take action."
"What did you do?" I asked. "Well, there was a big nurse shouting questions at me," said
Jerry. "She asked if I was allergic to anything." 'Yes,' I replied. The doctors
and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply.
I took a deep breath and yelled, 'Bullets!' Over their laughter, I told them, 'I am
choosing to live. Please operate on me as if I am alive, not dead."
Jerry lived thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing
attitude. I learned from him that every day you have the choice to either enjoy your life
or to hate it. The only thing that is truly yours-that no one can control or take from you-
is your attitude, so if you can take care of that, everything else in life becomes much
easier.
always has something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing,
he would always reply, "If I were any better, I would be twins!"
Many of the waiters at his restaurant quit their jobs when he changed jobs, so they
could follow him around from restaurant to restaurant.
The reason the waiters followed Jerry was because of his attitude. He was a natural
motivator. If an employee was having a bad day, Jerry was always there, telling the
employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.
Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to Jerry and asked him,
"I don't get it! No one can be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?"
Jerry replied, "Each morning I wake up and say to myself, I have two choices today.
I can choose to be in a good mood or I can choose to be in a bad mood. I always choose
to be in a good mood. Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or
I can choose to learn from it. I always choose to learn from it.
Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or
I can point out the positive side of life. I always choose the positive side of life
"But it's not always that easy," I protested.
"Yes it is," Jerry said. "Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk,
every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people
will affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. It's your choice how
you live your life."
Several years later, I heard that Jerry accidentally did something you are never
supposed to do in the restaurant business: he left the back door of his restaurant open
one morning and was robbed by three armed men. While trying to open the safe, his hand,
shaking from nervousness, slipped off the combination. The robbers panicked and shot him.
Luckily, Jerry was found quickly and rushed to the hospital. After 18 hours of surgery and
weeks of intensive care, Jerry was released from the hospital with fragments of the bullets
still in his body. I saw Jerry about six months after the accident. When I asked him how he
was, he replied, "If I were any better, I'd be twins. Want to see my scars?"
I declined to see his wounds, but did ask him what had gone through his mind as the robbery
took place. "The first thing that went through my mind was that I should have locked the back
door," Jerry replied. "Then, after they shot me, as I lay on the floor, I remembered that I
had two choices: I could choose to live or could choose to die. I chose to live.
"Weren't you scared" I asked. Jerry continued, "The paramedics were great. They kept
telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the Emergency Room and
I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared.
In their eyes, I read 'He's a dead man.' I knew I needed to take action."
"What did you do?" I asked. "Well, there was a big nurse shouting questions at me," said
Jerry. "She asked if I was allergic to anything." 'Yes,' I replied. The doctors
and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply.
I took a deep breath and yelled, 'Bullets!' Over their laughter, I told them, 'I am
choosing to live. Please operate on me as if I am alive, not dead."
Jerry lived thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing
attitude. I learned from him that every day you have the choice to either enjoy your life
or to hate it. The only thing that is truly yours-that no one can control or take from you-
is your attitude, so if you can take care of that, everything else in life becomes much
easier.
Bad news or terrible news first
This guy was sitting in his attorney's office.
"Do you want the bad news first or the terrible news?" the lawyer said.
"Give me the bad news first."
"Your wife found a picture worth a half-million dollars."
"That's the bad news?" asked the man incredulously.
"I can't wait to hear the terrible news."
"The terrible news is that it's of you and your secretary."
"Do you want the bad news first or the terrible news?" the lawyer said.
"Give me the bad news first."
"Your wife found a picture worth a half-million dollars."
"That's the bad news?" asked the man incredulously.
"I can't wait to hear the terrible news."
"The terrible news is that it's of you and your secretary."
Redneck Family Tree Poem
Many many years ago when I was twenty three,
I got married to a widow who was pretty as could be.
This widow had a grown-up daughter
Who had hair of red.
My father fell in love with her,
And soon the two were wed.
This made my dad my son-in-law
And changed my very life.
My daughter was my mother,
For she was my father's wife.
To complicate the matters worse,
Although it brought me joy.
I soon became the father
Of a bouncing baby boy.
My little baby then became
A brother-in-law to dad.
And so became my uncle,
Though it made me very sad.
For if he was my uncle,
Then that also made him brother
To the widow's grown-up daughter
Who, of course, was my step-mother.
Father's wife then had a son,
Who kept them on the run.
And he became my grandson,
For he was my daughter's son.
My wife is now my mother's mother
And it makes me blue.
Because, although she is my wife,
She's my grandma too.
If my wife is my grandmother,
Then I am her grandchild.
And every time I think of it,
It simply drives me wild.
For now I have become
The strangest case you ever saw.
As the husband of my grandmother,
I am my own grandpa!!
I got married to a widow who was pretty as could be.
This widow had a grown-up daughter
Who had hair of red.
My father fell in love with her,
And soon the two were wed.
This made my dad my son-in-law
And changed my very life.
My daughter was my mother,
For she was my father's wife.
To complicate the matters worse,
Although it brought me joy.
I soon became the father
Of a bouncing baby boy.
My little baby then became
A brother-in-law to dad.
And so became my uncle,
Though it made me very sad.
For if he was my uncle,
Then that also made him brother
To the widow's grown-up daughter
Who, of course, was my step-mother.
Father's wife then had a son,
Who kept them on the run.
And he became my grandson,
For he was my daughter's son.
My wife is now my mother's mother
And it makes me blue.
Because, although she is my wife,
She's my grandma too.
If my wife is my grandmother,
Then I am her grandchild.
And every time I think of it,
It simply drives me wild.
For now I have become
The strangest case you ever saw.
As the husband of my grandmother,
I am my own grandpa!!
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Health and wellbeing thru laughter
"Laughter is the best Medicine", it is a common saying we have heard for countless years. But is it true?Medical research has shown the body responds well to humor, it helps us deal with illnesses, the pressures of day to day life; we cope better at work and will change the quality of our lives.
We laugh for different reasons, what I find humorous may not necessarily make you laugh. But whatever makes us laugh makes us feel good. And for a detectable health reason…
•Laughter has been shown to reduce certain stress hormones, changes the flight-fright responses that occur in times of stress.
•Laughter boosts our immune system, lowers our blood pressure, and increases our oxygen levels.
•Laughter due to its’ physical nature gives us an overall body workout. So you can have fun, keep fit and stay healthy all in one easy step. Just laugh…
So we should laugh more read comics, see funny or light-hearted movies, watch comedies on television etc. Whatever it takes just laugh and more fun. John Kehoe said in one of his books ‘if you are not doing three fun things in a day, you are ageing quicker than you should’. Can you remember when you last did three fun things in a day or even a week?
A person I know has a job that isn’t overly interesting… you guessed it, he’s an Accountant. One of the things he does each day to bring a bit of fun into his job is to choose a word each day.
Now this word is not necessarily a normal word. It might be ‘Quasimodo’ for example. He then has to use this word in context in three conversations in his day without anybody suspecting. It doesn’t detract from his work but it makes it more fun for him. If you have a larger staff numbers, this can get very interesting and a great way to make the day go quicker and keeping the day light and fun filled.
But there are numerous things to do, both at work and at home to add laughter into our lives. Look at the number of web-sites that are dedicated to humor, many will send you a joke of the day, or a humorous quote etc. An email with a small laugh attached is a good way to start the day.
But make a point of seeing a funny movie, or hiring a DVD regularly to lighten the mood. Buy TV series that you find funny and watch them every now and then. But make it a habit; it is the habitual nature of things that bring us down. Changing bad habits to good will also raise the energy and laughter in our lives.
Remember, laughter is the best medicine. Life is fast paced, hectic and chaotic at times. Taking a break and having a laugh with friends or family is one of the best remedies you can have … go ahead just laugh.
The Meaning of "Laughter: The Best Medicine"They say laughter is the best medicine, but why does this saying persist? Because it's true. Because even though tears are necessary for some healing, laughter is what helps real growth take root. Laughter affects our minds and hearts, and these both affect our bodies.
Mentally, laughter improves our thinking patterns. It frees us to appreciate the little moments in life, and helps us to focus on solutions rather than problems.
Emotionally, laughter frees us from burden, bit by small bit. Instead of only feeling good when good things happen, laughter helps happiness become our default. It strengthens our relationships with ourselves, and with others.
Physically, laughter reduces tension (which helps us relax and sleep better) and charges our immune systems (which helps us resist disease). It helps us find the joy and hope required to heal and increases daily health.
How To Find More Laughter In Your Life
Laughter is the best medicine, and it's also a cycle. People who are happy in life laugh more, and conversely, those who laugh become happier! It's a wonderful cycle; you just need to set it in motion. By learning to laugh-to laugh a lot or even a little more than you do-you can live a fuller, healthier life. Here are three simple steps you can take to get there.
1. The Journey Of Laughter And Health Begins With Smile
A smile is the first step to laughter. Yes smiles are small, but they have the tendency to grow and grow. Make an effort to smile more throughout your day. If you're feeling in a down mood, force yourself to smile as you walk around rather than frowning or looking glum. You'll be amazed at how it 'soaks in' so to speak. You'll find that as you look at the world outside of you with a pleasant look on your face, you'll start looking inside yourself more positively, too. Your whole mood will slowly improve. Keep it up and you'll be laughing soon enough!
2. Laughter Is The Best Medicine, And Medicine Doesn't Come TO You
If you need more laughter, seek it out, both in people and in activities. Spend time with people you care about and who make you happy, and with people who laugh and make others laugh. Do things laugh with others and watch how your laughter rubs off on each other.
Take note of the things that make you laugh (or at least smile for starters) and incorporate them into your day. This may be intentionally funny things (like comedy films or joke books) or just silly things (like funny pictures of animals or trying on ugly hats at the mall). No smile is too small, so seek them out and help them grow!
3. Lighten Up: Focus On The Positive
Laughter and health are connected because laughter lets us increase the positive feelings, which forces negative feelings to get smaller. You cannot feel angry, disheartened, anxious, guilty, or resentful yet feel humor at the same time!
One of the best ways to help increase laughter (and to help its magic medicine work) is to get away from the thoughts that prevent laughter. Write down things you are grateful for, take steps to alleviate stress, take care of your mind and your body, and do things that make you feel good about yourself and your skills.
Make room for laughter, and health (mental, emotional, and even physical) will have room to thrive. And of course, the healthier you are, the more you will laugh. You'll truly see why laughter is the best medicine, and you'll want to spread the laughter to others.
Laughter is the "Best Medicine" for Your Heart
Can a laugh every day keep the heart attack away? Maybe so.
Laughter, along with an active sense of humor, may help protect you against a heart attack, according to a recent study by cardiologists at the University of Maryland Medical Center in Baltimore. The study, which is the first to indicate that laughter may help prevent heart disease, found that people with heart disease were 40 percent less likely to laugh in a variety of situations compared to people of the same age without heart disease.
"The old saying that 'laughter is the best medicine,' definitely appears to be true when it comes to protecting your heart," says Michael Miller, M.D., director of the Center for Preventive Cardiology at the University of Maryland Medical Center and associate professor of medicine at the University of Maryland School of Medicine. "We don't know yet why laughing protects the heart, but we know that mental stress is associated with impairment of the endothelium, the protective barrier lining our blood vessels. This can cause a series of inflammatory reactions that lead to fat and cholesterol build-up in the coronary arteries and ultimately to a heart attack."
In the study, researchers compared the humor responses of 300 people. Half of the participants had either suffered a heart attack or undergone coronary artery bypass surgery. The other 150 did not have heart disease. One questionnaire had a series of multiple-choice answers to find out how much or how little people laughed in certain situations, and the second one used true or false answers to measure anger and hostility.
Miller said that the most significant study finding was that "people with heart disease responded less humorously to everyday life situations." They generally laughed less, even in positive situations, and they displayed more anger and hostility.
"The ability to laugh -- either naturally or as learned behavior -- may have important implications in societies such as the U.S. where heart disease remains the number one killer," says Miller. "We know that exercising, not smoking and eating foods low in saturated fat will reduce the risk of heart disease. Perhaps regular, hearty laughter should be added to the list."
Miller says it may be possible to incorporate laughter into our daily activities, just as we do with other heart-healthy activities, such as taking the stairs instead of the elevator. "We could perhaps read something humorous or watch a funny video and try to find ways to take ourselves less seriously," Miller says. "The recommendation for a healthy heart may one day be exercise, eat right and laugh a few times a day."
The Health Benefits of Humor and Laughter
Humor is infectious. The sound of roaring laughter is far more contagious than any cough, sniffle, or sneeze. When laughter is shared, it binds people together and increases happiness and intimacy. In addition to the domino effect of joy and amusement, laughter also triggers healthy physical changes in the body. Humor and laughter strengthen your immune system, boost your energy, diminish pain, and protect you from the damaging effects of stress. Best of all, this priceless medicine is fun, free, and easy to use.
Laughter is strong medicine for mind and body
Laughter is a powerful antidote to stress, pain, and conflict. Nothing works faster or more dependably to bring your mind and body back into balance than a good laugh. Humor lightens your burdens, inspires hopes, connects you to others, and keeps you grounded, focused, and alert.
With so much power to heal and renew, the ability to laugh easily and frequently is a tremendous resource for surmounting problems, enhancing your relationships, and supporting both physical and emotional health.
Laughter is good for your health
Laughter relaxes the whole body. A good, hearty laugh relieves physical tension and stress, leaving your muscles relaxed for up to 45 minutes after.
Laughter boosts the immune system. Laughter decreases stress hormones and increases immune cells and infection-fighting antibodies, thus improving your resistance to disease.
Laughter triggers the release of endorphins, the body’s natural feel-good chemicals. Endorphins promote an overall sense of well-being and can even temporarily relieve pain.
Laughter protects the heart. Laughter improves the function of blood vessels and increases blood flow, which can help protect you against a heart attack and other cardiovascular problems.
Laughter and humor help you stay emotionally healthy
Laughter makes you feel good. And the good feeling that you get when you laugh remains with you even after the laughter subsides. Humor helps you keep a positive, optimistic outlook through difficult situations, disappointments, and loss.
More than just a respite from sadness and pain, laughter gives you the courage and strength to find new sources of meaning and hope. Even in the most difficult of times, a laugh–or even simply a smile–can go a long way toward making you feel better. And laughter really is contagious—just hearing laughter primes your brain and readies you to smile and join in on the fun.
The link between laughter and mental health
Laughter dissolves distressing emotions. You can’t feel anxious, angry, or sad when you’re laughing.
Laughter helps you relax and recharge. It reduces stress and increases energy, enabling you to stay focused and accomplish more.
Humor shifts perspective, allowing you to see situations in a more realistic, less threatening light. A humorous perspective creates psychological distance, which can help you avoid feeling overwhelmed.
The social benefits of humor and laughter
Humor and playful communication strengthen our relationships by triggering positive feelings and fostering emotional connection. When we laugh with one another, a positive bond is created. This bond acts as a strong buffer against stress, disagreements, and disappointment.
Laughing with others is more powerful than laughing alone
Shared laughter is one of the most effective tools for keeping relationships fresh and exciting. All emotional sharing builds strong and lasting relationship bonds, but sharing laughter and play adds joy, vitality, and resilience. And humor is a powerful and effective way to heal resentments, disagreements, and hurts. Laughter unites people during difficult times.
Using humor and laughter in relationships allows you to:
Be more spontaneous. Humor gets you out of your head and away from your troubles.
Let go of defensiveness. Laughter helps you forget judgments, criticisms, and doubts.
Release inhibitions. Your fear of holding back and holding on are set aside.
Express your true feelings. Deeply felt emotions are allowed to rise to the surface.
Laughter and Relationships
Mutual laughter and play are an essential component of strong, healthy relationships. By making a conscious effort to incorporate more humor and play into your daily interactions, you can improve the quality of your love relationships— as well as your connections with co-workers, family members, and friends.
Bringing more humor and laughter into your life
Laughter is your birthright, a natural part of life that is innate and inborn. Infants begin smiling during the first weeks of life and laugh out loud within months of being born. Even if you did not grow up in a household where laughter was a common sound, you can learn to laugh at any stage of life.
Begin by setting aside special times to seek out humor and laughter, as you might with working out, and build from there. Eventually, you’ll want to incorporate humor and laughter into the fabric of your life, finding it naturally in everything you do.
- Here are some ways to start:
Smile. Smiling is the beginning of laughter. Like laughter, it’s contagious. Pioneers in “laugh therapy,” find it’s possible to laugh without even experiencing a funny event. The same holds for smiling. When you look at someone or see something even mildly pleasing, practice smiling. - Count your blessings. Literally make a list. The simple act of considering the good things in your life will distance you from negative thoughts that are a barrier to humor and laughter. When in a state of sadness, we have further to travel to get to humor and laughter.
- When you hear laughter, move toward it. Sometimes humor and laughter are private, a shared joke among a small group, but usually not. More often, people are very happy to share something funny because it gives them an opportunity to laugh again and feed off the humor you find in it. When you hear laughter, seek it out and ask, “What’s funny?”
- Spend time with fun, playful people. These are people who laugh easily–both at themselves and at life’s absurdities–and who routinely find the humor in everyday events. Their playful point of view and laughter are contagious.
Bring humor into conversations. Ask people, “What’s the funniest thing that happened to you today? This week? In your life?”
Some events are clearly sad and not occasions for laughter. But most events in life don’t carry an overwhelming sense of either sadness or delight. They fall into the gray zone of ordinary life–giving you the choice to laugh or not.
- Ways to help yourself see the lighter side of life:
Laugh at yourself. Share your embarrassing moments. The best way to take ourselves less seriously is talk about times when we took ourselves too seriously.
Attempt to laugh at situations rather than bemoan them. Look for the humor in a bad situation, the irony and absurdity of life. This will help improve your mood and the mood of those around you. - Surround yourself with reminders to lighten up. Keep a toy on your desk or in your car. Put up a funny poster in your office. Choose a computer screensaver that makes you laugh. Frame photos of you and your family or friends having fun.
- Keep things in perspective. Many things in life are beyond our control—particularly the behavior of other people. While you might think taking the weight of the world on your shoulders is admirable, in the long run it’s unrealistic, unproductive, unhealthy, and even egotistical.
- Deal with your stress. Stress is a major impediment to humor and laughter.
Pay attention to children and emulate them. They are the experts on playing, taking life lightly, and laughing.
Life brings challenges that can either get the best of you or become playthings for your imagination. When you “become the problem” and take yourself too seriously, it can be hard to think outside the box and find new solutions. But when you play with the problem, you can often transform it into an opportunity for creative learning.
Playing with problems seems to come naturally to children. When they are confused or afraid, they make their problems into a game, giving them a sense of control and an opportunity to experiment with new solutions. Interacting with others in playful ways helps you retain this creative ability.
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